BLAHBLAH BLAH+ ONE FREEBIE

February 24, 2011

A COLUM FROM OFFISIAL D&D IS HERE FROM MARK MEARLS WHICH IS GOOD. BASICALLY HE SAYS OLD SCHOOL DUNGEONS & D IS THE SAME AS 4TH D&D AND STUFF INBETWEEN AND SHOULD WE SHOULD AND WE SHOULD GET ALONG BECAUSE WE ARE GARY GYGAX FAMILY. IT IS NICE TO SEE SOME-ONEWHO IS TRY TO BRING US ALL TO GETHER AND IS NOT AFRAID TO MAKE A BRIDGE……………………….NO WAIT I EMAN FUCK YOU!!! PSYCHED OUT!!

       AHAHAAHAHA A JOESKY TRICK!!!! YOU THOGHT I LIKE, BUT, THE COLUM IS HORSESHIT!!!!!!!!!!!11 SORRY MYLITTELPONY FACTORY, YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH CARCOSA……..BECAUSE OF LETTERS D AND FANCY & SIGN AND ANOTHER LETTER D????!?!?!!!?/ NO WAY DICKWAD, 4TH DUNGEON EDITION IS SOMETHING ELSE THAT BELONGS TO YOU AND PLANET ALGOL IS BEOLNGED TO OVER HEAR AND YOU CAN KEEP DRAGONBRED RACE AND THEN STONEHELL IS FOR HERE, OKAY YOU KEEP 50 HIT POINT AT 1ST LEVEL BUT THE PORNO STARS COME WITH US!!!!!! INO IT SUCKS TO BE THE STUFFY SUTE THAT WATCH FROM THE IVORY TOWER WHEN FERRIS BUHLER DANCES AND BONES THE HOT CHICK (WHAT HAPINED TO HER SHE IS THE HOTTEST CHICK EVER?????????!?!?!? SERIOUSLY SOME -ONE FIND THAT GIRL AND SEND HE HERE) , BUT YOU CHOOSED THIS!!!1 DID YOUR STUFF EVER SHOW UP ON THE UNDERDARK GAZINE? OKAY SORRY THEN, YOU ARE NOT WITH THE COOL KIDS.

SO WEAR IS THE HOPE FOR YOU……………………………..AN EASY FIX……………….. QUIT AND JOINUS! NOT SO EASY BECAUSE THE CUSHY JOB IS GONE BUTT THE FUN IS MORE: TARE OFF PANTS PANTS, TAKE A DUMP ON OPTIMUST PRIME STATUE, WIPE ASS WITH MAGIC CARDS, AND A CONAN SHOUT OF ‘EAT MY BALLS!!?” WHEN YOU RUN OUT THE DOOR! THEN LAY LOW AND PROBALY MOVE AWAY BECAUSE THE POLICE WILL COME SOON :(

AND MAKE THE MARK MEARLS COMPANY OR JOIN BRAVE HOBBIT OR MASYBE A PARTNER BOOK WITH JIM FIREPRINCESS. AND ALSO A REAL JOB ON TOP OF THAT BECAUSE THERE’S IS NO MONEY HEAR, BUT IT FEELS MUCH BETTER TO PLAY WHEN THE GAME IS THE ESCAPE FROM SHITTY WORKK AND NOT THE THE SHITTY WORK YOU HAVE TO DO FOR WORK.. BUT WHEN YOUR BOOK COMES OUT I WILL BE REDY WITH $10 FOR THE PDF AND ALOTS OTHERS WIILTO SO I HOPE YOU COME TO JOIN US!!!!

H SOME OF THEM SAY A TTITUDE LIKE THIS MEANS A SMALL GAME GETS TINYER BUT I DONT CARE? AND I JUST SAY SO WHAT? THEIR LOTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE AROUND PLAYING D&D LIKE ODYSEY, AND I THINK CYLOPATRONS NEICE OR SOMETHING AND JAMESNARDIAS KIDS AND CHRISTIANS KIDS SO D&D WILL BE AROUND UNTIL I DEAD AND THEN IT WILL KEE PGOING MORE…………. AND WHEN I DEAD I WILL GO TO HEAVIN HAPPY TO MEET ST. CUTHBERT AND HE’LL WILL STICK HIS HAND OUT FOR A WELCOME SHAKE AND THAT IS WHEN I STAB HIM IN THE FASE AND LAUGHING AS HIS STUFF IS TAKE BY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 HAHAHAHAHA ANOTHER JOESKY TRICK, CUTHBERT!!!

SHIT………………… ALOT OF BLAHBLAH BLAH FOR THE TIME FIRST IN A LONG TIME. SO HERE IS A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE DMS. ALL THE PLAYER WANTY PLATE-MAIL BUT I THINK THATS NOT REALLY FOR DUNGEONS……………………SO WARN THEM THAT YOU CAN HAVE YOUR STUPID PLATE-MAIL, BUT SOMETIMES (ONCE A SESSION?.) I WILL ROLL ON THE PLATEM-AIL FUCKUP TABLE, LIKE AFTER YOU FALL IN A PIT OR GET LOTS OF WET, OR IF A

PLATE-MAIL FUCKUP TABLE – ROLL 1 12 SIDE 1D12 (1-12)

1-6. NOT TO BAD…… A LITTLE KINK MAKES IT TOGUH TO MOVE, TAKE OUT THE LITTLE PLATE FOR A -2 AC PENALTY OR ALWAYS ATTACK LAST IN ROUND – FIX AT BLACKSMITH FOR $50GP

7. A COUPLE BUCKLES POPPED AND A JOINT IS STUCK SO THE RATTLE IS LOUD – ROLL RANDOM MONSTER TWICE AS MUCH – FIX FOR 100GP

9) BAD CHAFFING PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!1 LOSE 1HP EVERY HOUR YOU WEAR STILL THE ARMOR. CANNOT BE FIX.

8. SWEAT, BLOOD + BAD ADVENUTRE HYJEAN= DUNGEON FUNK INFESTATION. PLATE-MAIL IS LOUSY WITH (1D6): 1. MINI-SHRIEKERS 2. YELLOW MODL 3. BLACK PUDDING 4. LEPRECAUNS // EACH MONSTER ATTACKS AS NORMAL NUTIL YOU GET THE ARMOR OFF (1-4 ROUNDS), CAN’T WEAR AGAIN UNTIL YOU CLEAN IT GOOD

10. YOU TAKE NEXT STEP, THER IS A CREEKING SOUND AND THEN THE PLATE-MAIL COMES APART AT EVERY SEEM WITH CRASH TO FLOOR, SHOWING THAT YOU HAVE ON RED JAMMIES WITH CARTOON HILLBILLY BUTT-FLAP ON UNDERNEATH. ARMOR RUINED AND HENCHMAN MORALE DROPS IN HALF. GUESS WHAT? ARMOR IS SCRAP METAL.

11. FROZEN!!!!!!!!11 EVERY JOINT STUCK AND YOU WILL NEEDS FRIENDS TO HELP YOU OUT, IT TAKES 1 TURN AND COSTS THREE WANDER MONSTER ROLLS FROM NOISE. ARMOR RUINED.

12 NEXT MAGIC ATTACK LEEKS RAW MAGIC INTO ARMOR – PLATE-MAIL COMES ALIVE AND RUNS AWAY WITH (YOU IN IT!!!) FOR 1000′ AT 18” SPEED. IT SEEMS TO NOW WHERE IT ‘S GOING BECAUSE IT WILL HEAD FOR NEAREST STAIRS DOWN TO LOWER LEVEL

WENSDAY NIGHT FIGHT!!

February 23, 2011

THE ANSER TO KIRK FIGHT MAGNUM IS – – KIRK WILL WIN!

MAGNUM IS A LOVER THAT NOWS HO WTO FIGHT. THE KILLER MUSTASH IS HARD TO VOTE AGAINST BUT HE HAD A CHICK HE LOVED IN VEITNAM ANDTHEY HAD A GIRL AND THEY BOTH DIED I THINK (I FORGOT I GOT COMPULCATED( BUT HE ALWAYS KEPT LOVE FOR THEM IN HIS HEART……………………

KIRK IS A FITGHING -MAN THAT LOVES TO BONE CHICKS. BUT IN HIS HEART THERE IS NO LOVE AND IN FACT HE IS A REAL PRICK. LIKE IN STAR TREK 2 ITS LIKE ‘OH SHIT I HAVE A SON? UH OKAY SORY I WAS NOT AROUND (BUT NOT REALLY THAT SORY)’ AND THEN IN STAR WARS 3 THE KLINGONS KILL STABBED THE SON AND KIRK IS PISSED BUT THEN HE PRETTY MUCH FORGETS HIM AFTER. ‘HEY THIS PLANET MAKES SPOCK ALIVE AGAIN HOORAY, BUT FOR THE SON WHO CARES.” SO WHEN A BATTLE TO THE DEATH COMES, HIS PRICK SIDE CAN BEAT MAGNUM, WHO IS HELD BACK FROM A KILL WITH LOVE.

SO TODAY WE HAVEANOTHER

BATTLE, IN THIS CORNER………………………………..DOCTOR DOOM

SIENCE!!!1

AND TO MAKE A GOOD FIGHT IS………………………………. THULSA DOOM (NOT A DR.)

MAGIC!!!!!!!!

WHO CAN WIN????? THERE IS NO LOVE IN THESE HEARTS EITHER ONE……………………………..

WENSDAY NIGHTS FIGHTS1

February 16, 2011

WHAT A BORING NIGHT, SO STIR SOME SHIT UP!  THIS FIGHT COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN ENCOUNTER CRITICLE, BUT I HALF ALWAYS WONDER WHO A WINNER IS………………

IN THE FIRST CORNER IS: CATAIN KIRK!!!

READY FOR A WRESTLE TIME

IN THE OTHER CRONER IS—  TOMAS MAGNUM (PI.)

BRING IT, BRO

TEWO TOUGHGUYS – WHO WILL WIN?  ?

I HAVE MY IDEA, BUT LET ME KNOW WHAT IS A THINK

OF YOU!!!!!!!1

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