WENSDAY NIGHTS FIGHTS1
February 16, 2011
WHAT A BORING NIGHT, SO STIR SOME SHIT UP! THIS FIGHT COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN ENCOUNTER CRITICLE, BUT I HALF ALWAYS WONDER WHO A WINNER IS………………
IN THE FIRST CORNER IS: CATAIN KIRK!!!
READY FOR A WRESTLE TIME
IN THE OTHER CRONER IS— TOMAS MAGNUM (PI.)
BRING IT, BRO
TEWO TOUGHGUYS – WHO WILL WIN? ?
I HAVE MY IDEA, BUT LET ME KNOW WHAT IS A THINK
OF YOU!!!!!!!1
February 17, 2011 at 1:04 am
Kirk is hairless, and so is more slipppery than Magnum. Magnum, hell you could probably pick him up by his chest hair … certainly if Kirk got a hand full of that ‘stache he’d be throwing Magnum all over the place. Magnum has height and reach, Kirk is thick and stocky … but Magnum is goofy and Kirk can be ruthless. I think if some grease or oil is involved Kirk wins by being too slippery. If it goes past 3 rounds (with no grease) then Magnum’s surf fitness gives him the cardio-endurance required to outlast Kirk, if he keeps him at arms length and lands blows to the chin and nose … and if Magnum feels like fighting.
If Kirk is holding one of Magnum’s ‘Nam buddies captive, then Magnum’s goofiness and disinterest in fighting is no longer a factor, and he becomes more ruthless than Kirk. The only way to even the odds is if Kirk double-lubricates.
February 17, 2011 at 2:08 am
Kirk.
He’s fought aliens and things the P.I. has never seen, so I’m betting on him.
February 17, 2011 at 2:26 am
Serious? Kirk hasn’t seen Magnum, and Magnum isn’t fighting aliens. Even fight.
And there is a whole episode of Magnum treading water, and hallucinating, where is he is being circled by a shark that HE CAN’T SEE. Ergo, Magnum is not afraid of what he can’t see. It may as well be an alien. Magnum (sans-grease) is favored.
February 17, 2011 at 2:27 am
As much as I love Kirk, I love Magnum more. Magnum for the win.
February 17, 2011 at 4:08 am
ZEUS!! APPOLLO!!
February 17, 2011 at 5:05 am
More chest hair = more win. Magnum backs over Kirk in his borrowed Ferrari and drives off with the green woman.
February 17, 2011 at 9:07 am
Captain Kirk by a mile. He will sleep with your Magnums biches, sister, mother, etc. Kirk could do that ez once he gave them a tour of the Enterprise (the real reason he always wanted to be a starship captain). Magnum will be so angry he will forget Kirk trained under Shaolin masters and not see the flying-leg-drop-to-the-face and double-handed-karate-chop-to-the-shoulder-blades follow up!!
-Nunya
P.S. – Also Magnum is teh gay.
February 17, 2011 at 10:42 am
Why does Kirk’s peepee look so small in those tightpants?
February 17, 2011 at 11:04 am
SIRALLENURSOTEHGAY!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
February 23, 2011 at 5:16 am
Kirk is suffocated by the moustache. Kirk never had face hair, did he? Never?
June 1, 2011 at 9:06 am
[...] Therefore, thanks to Joesky, the penultimate battle: Tom Selleck’s mustache versus William Shatner’s weave. [...]