A REVEW OF CONAN MOVIE

CONAN BARBARIAN WITH JASON MOMA IS THE 2ND BEST CONAN MOVIE EVER.  THAT PUTS IT WRITE IN THEMIDDEL OF THE TOP 5 MOVIES OF ALL TIME!!. (SORRY CANONBALLS RUN YOU HAVE BEEN KNOCKED INTO #6).

I DID NOT SEE THE 3D OF IT BUT BE-CAUSE OF THE BOOZE SOMETIMES IT FEELED 3D ANYWAYS – I SWEARE TO GOD THAT CONAN PUCHNED MY FASE AT LEASE ONE TIME, MAYBE 3-5!!!!!!1

I DRUNK 2 TALLBOYS BEFORE GO IN AND 1 HOTBOX WITH KIDS IN THE PARKING LOT, AND I THINK THIS IS A GOOD ISDEA.  AQ COUPLE TIMES THEIR WAS DANGER LIKE MAYBE I THINK ROSE MAGOWIN IS STUPID OR THIS MOVE NEEDS A THULSA-DOOM OR THESE SPECIAL AFFECTS LOOK LIKE 1996………………………BUT THEN THE BEER KICKS IN AND I GO ”HAHAHA HOW FUCKING CARES ITSAMOVIESTABSOMEONEQUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”" AND THEN SOME BOOBS COME ON AND THERES NO PROBLEM. HATERS SHOULD PROBALY DROP 3 TALL B’S AND BRING A FLASK FOR BACKUP TO GARANTEE FUN.

THERE WERE SEVERAL BOOBS BUT NO SORCERORESS BOOBS

I LIKE THE JAMAICAN GUY I HOPE THE NEXT CONNAN MOVIE IS CONAN + JAMAINACAN GUY AND THEY SAIL THEIR PIRATE SHIP AND BEAT UP BAD GUYS AND BONE CHICKS.

I THINKS ONE VERY MINOR QUIBBLE IS THE MONK CHICK THAT CONAN SAVES IS FUCKING LAME.  I THINK ARNOLD CONAN WOULD HAVE BONED HER AND THEN WHEN SHE GOT STOLE BY THE BAD GUY ARNOLD WOULD JUST SAY “AH SEE YOU AROUND I GUESS’ AND THEN HE ‘D FI

ND SOME COO LERCHICKS TO HANG OUT WITH. AND KICK THE BAD GUYS ASS LATER.

ALSO A CAMAL-PUNCH SUBPLOT WOULD BE NICE…………LIKE CONAN COULD BE WALKING THE DESERT AND A CAMEAL COULD STEAL HIS VAMPIRETEETH NECKLACE AND CONAN WOULD PUNCH HIS FASE AND SAY ‘NOT THIS TIME CAMAL!!!” OR IF THE CAMAL HAD BOOBS AND THEN CONAN PUNCHED HIM (HER?).

THE BOTTOM LINE: GO GET DRUNK AND SEE THE MOVIE IT IS GREAT, BUT ARNOLD CAN LIGHT UP A BIG CIGAR BECUASE HE IS STILL #1 OF ALL TIME.!!!!!!!