CARCOSA RACE IS CLASS

August 5, 2012

A LONGTIME GONE, NO THANKYOU TO YOU ORANGE COUNTRY SHERRIF DEPT.!!!!! BUT A GOOD TIME TO THINK, BREW BOOZE IN TOILET, AND SOME CARCOSA ISDEAS. ONLY TWO CLASSES????!?!?1…….. NO WAY GIMME MORE!!!! SO NOW IF YOU WANT TO BE FIGHTMAN OR SORCERER, GO FOR IT ANY COLOR CAN BE FINE. BUT ALSO EVERY COLOR RACE IS A CLASS AND HEAR ARE MY FIRST TWO:

PRETENT HE IS ORANGE………………….

ORANGEMENS ARE LORDS OF THE DINOSAUR, LIKE IRISH IS LORDS OF THE DANCE. THEY GROW, HUNT, TRANE, KILL, MAKE FRENDS WITH DONOSAUR LIKE IT NO PROBLEM. YOU GOT A DINSAR PROBLEM, ASK THESE DUDES (AND CHICKS TOHELP).

QUALIFY: STR 13+

XP                          LEVEL                                              HD

0                             1 DINOHELPER                             1+1

2500                     2 EGGSITTER                                 2

5000                    3 THUGASAURUS                        3+1

10000                  4 HOORIDER                                 4

2000 0                5 OG                                                   5+1

40,000               6 DINORAUDER                           6

80000                 7 SHOTCALLA                             7+1

150000              8 MACKDADDY                            8+2

300000              9 T-WRECKS N EFFECTER      9+3

EVERY NEXT LEVEL JUST DOUBLE THAT SHIT………………………..

SAVING THORWS: LIKE A FIGHTERMAN

SPECIAL ABILITIES AT LVL. 1: TOUGH SKIN IS AC-1, TRACK DINOS LIKE A RANGER, RANGER SURVIVLE SKILLS (IF YOU DONT HAVE RANGERS, MAKE STUFF UP)

EVERY 2 LEVELS (2,4,6 8, 10…… 14, 15, 16, 18……THE REST) PICK A COOL POWER:

RAGE OF THE LIZARD KING: YOU UN-ARMED ATTACK AT 2 PER ROUND 1D6 EACH. CALL SOME COOL HITS: HEADBUTT, DICKKICK, TOOTH STAB, WHATEVS. BUT ON A HIT ROLL=1, YOU TAKE 1D6 CAUSE YOU PUNCHED/KICKED WRONG.

MONSRTER TAMER: SPECIAL WRAPPER WITH THE DEADLIEST CATCHES: T-REX, GODZILLA, VELOWRAPTER, ANYTHING KNOWN AS KILLER LIZARD. +10% TO CALM AND CAPTUER……. I DIDN’T HAVE DINOSAUR CALM & CAPTURE RULES YET, SO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL THIS MEANS ON YOUROWN. YOU CAN TAKE THESE TAMEING ONES MORE THAN ONCE.

SQWAWKKK!!!: CALL A TERRODACTAL NOISE, IF ONE IS NEARBY IT WILL COME AND YOU LEVEL X5% IS THE PERCENT CHANCE YOU CAN RIDE IT TO ONE PLACE FOR A DROP OFF (GIVE A GOOD TIP AND YOU GET +5% TO NEXT TRY). SUCH A SQWAAAWKK HURTS THE THROAT, ONE PER WEEK ONLY.

BIG GUYS LIKE YOU: BRONTOSARS, DIPLO-DOCTUS, ALL THE BIG ONES LIKE YOU +1-0% CALM-CAPTURE. GOOD FOR LONG RIDES, PULL HEVY STUFF, IMPRESS GIRLS.

INDIAN RUNNER: NEVER TIRE FROM THE HUNT. DOUBLE MOVE RATE WILDERNESS IF NO ARMOR, NOT ENCUMBER, AND ALONE OR OLNY WITH OTHER ORNAGES WITH THIS POWER.

QUEER EYE: NOW HOW TO MAKE DINO SADDLES, GOGGLES, WHIP, DINORIDER OUTFITS, ACSESSERIES, BOOTS, ALL FABULOUS (COLORS OF THE RAINBOW). SELL FOR GOOD MONEY.

HARD ASS: STR+1, YOU WANT TO TAKE IT A BUNCH OF TIMES FINE I DONT CARE.

WEERDO MAGNET: +10% CALM AND CAPTURE THE WEIRD DINOSUARS LIKE ANKLESAURUS, STEGOTOPS, TRICERTOPS, DUCKFACE, THAT OTHER ONE, SOME OTHERS. ALL THE CREEPY LOOK ONES.

SAVIGE ROAR: ROAR LIKE DINO, STUN ENEMIE IN 30′ IF THEY FAIL SAFE VS. SPELLS AND YOUR LEVEL MINUS THEIR LEVEL IS THE MODIFLIER.

KITERUNNER: +10% TAME FLYING DINOS, YOU KNOW WAHT TO DO WITH THE REST. TAKE ANY TAMEING ONE AS MUCH AS WANT.

LOVE DOES NOT COMPUTE

BLACKMEN ARE THE ROBOTPOEPLE OF CARCOSA. THEY CAN SURPRESED THERE HUMANITY SIDE, PERFORM MATH GOOD, AND NO EMOSHUNS. THE RULER OF THEM: A COPUTER INTELLIGENTS DEEP INSIDE THE PLANET – EVERY BLACKMANS VILLAGE HAS A SPECIAL COMM-UNI-CATORER THAT LINKS THEM TO THIS INTELLIGENTS AND GIVES ADVISE, TELLS SECRETS, AND MAKES PLANS. BUT THE COMPUTER DOES NOT GIVE THEM TECHNOS MUCH, IT TELLS THEM GHOW TO LIVE IN HARMINY WITH WORLD LIKE NO-EMOSHUN HIPPIES OR SOMETHING……………….WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER IS THIS????!??!

QUALIFY: ANYBODY

XP                                                            LEVEL                                                   HD

0                                                               1 FLOPPY DISK                                  1

2200                                                       2 PROTOCOL DROIT                        2

4400                                                       3 TWEEKEY                                        3

8800                                                       4 ROBO-BRO                                       4

170,00                                                   5 PROGRAMMER                            5

34000                                                     6 ANDROID                                      6

68000                                                     7 DIGITEER                                     7

120000                                                  8 BORG                                                8

240000                                                 9 MEGABYTER                               9

AND DOUBLE, AND DOUBLE, AND DOUBLE……………………………. (WITH +1 HP EACH TIME)

SAVE LIKE: THIEF

SPECIAL ABILITIES: START W/ 2 EXTAR LANGUAGES, +1″ MOVE, START ONE ITEM OF NOT-WEAPON TECH (10′ TITANIUM POLE, IPOD, RAD SENSER, OR ANOTHER)

PICK A CANDY PIECE EVERY EVEN-NUMBER LEVEL YOU GET:

ASPECT OF MASHINE: YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF COMPLETELY NON-HUMAN IN NATURE, ANALICTICAL LIKE A MASHINE. INSANITY, LOGIC, & FEAR DO NOT EFFECT YOU. IF A SORCERAR USE YOUINA RITUAL IT FAILS AND THE SORCERER IS FUCKED AND YOU GET AWAY SCOT FREE AND ARE ALLOWED A SINGLE SATISFIED CHUCKEL, THEN BACK TO POKER FACE MR. SPOCK.

ROBOT WISPERER: IS A ROBOT A DICK TO YU? START TALKING AT IT AND ROLL UNDER YOUR LEVEL ON 1D10 AND IF THAT WORKS YOU CONVINTS IT TO GET WITH YOUR PROGRAM (LIKE CHARMMO NSTER FOR 1D100 ROUNDS). IF YOU CAN GET IT TO A BLACKMANS VILLAGE TO TALK TO YOUR COMPUTER GOD WITHIN 2D4 DAYS, THE AFFECT IS PERMANINT AND NOW HE IS YOUR BUDDY THICK & THIN.

WISDOM OF AGES: +1 WIS, BECAUSE TO LIVE IN HARMINY WITH THE PLANET IS THE BEST WAY TO GO. PICK THIS AS MANY TIMES AS WANT.

DOT HE ROBOT: MAKE PANTIES/LOINCLOUTS DROP. TARGET GETS SAVE V. SPELLS YOUR LEVEL IS NEGATIVE MODFIDIER.

RIDDLER: IN A SITUATION OF TALKING (NEGOTIASHIN, INTERAGASHIN…..) YOU CAN MAKE A CLEVER RIDDLE THAT TRICKS PEOPLE TO HELP YOU. BUT YOU HAVE TO SAY IT OUTLOUD TO THE DM FOR IT TO WORK. DM NPC: “WE WILL NOT GIVE YOUTHE SPACE ALIEN GUN… WE WANT IT.” YOU: “ARE YOU SURE? ISN’T A GUN LIKE 10000 SPOONS WHEN ALL YOU NEED IS A KNIVE… /RAISE EYEBROW/” DM NCP: “I…… HMMMMM… MAYBE YOU ARE RIGHT, WE WILL TRADE FOR GOLD!” YOU: “THAT IS MOST LOGICLE.”

TALK TO THE ANIMALS: YOU CAN TALK A LITTLE TO UNINTELIGENT SPAWN OF SHUBIGGURATH. DOESN’T MAKE YOU AUTOMATIC FRENDS, SO A GOOD IDEA IS TOTALK FROM FAR AWAY IS POSSIBLE.

HIPPIE MAGIC: YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE A SIMPLE HEAL BALM, GROW GOOD WEED, TURN A TOWEL INTO CLOTHES OR A HAMMICK (GET HEALING SLEEP EVEN IN A SHITTY PLACE), SELL GRILLCHEESE SANDWICHES FOR SMALL PROFIT, AND 2X MOVE RATE WHEN CHASED BY COPS.

GEOMITRY HIDER: KNOWS HOW TOO MAKE MANY-ANGLED SHAPES THAT DEFY PROCEPTION. WITH GOODER SUPPLIES (TIN FOIL, ROPE, A HAT, MIRRORS, ECT…) CAN CREATE HIDEY PLACE THAT BLENDS INTO SURROUND. TAKES ONE HOUR TO CREATE PER PERSON TO FIT IN SIDE, GETS ALL BUSTED UP TO SHIT WHEN YOU COME UP OUT OF THERE.

SAD STORY: CAN EXPLAIN LOVE PERFECTLY BUT CANNT FEEL IT. TELL THIS TO A GROUP OF PEOPLE AND YOUR LEVEL X5 IS THE PERCENT CHANCE THEY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU SOME HELP OR MAYBE STUFF.

RAINMAN: SUPER COUNTER-FASTER. COINS, TOOTHPICTS, SANDS ON A BEACH, SUCKERS ON A TENTICLE, YOU NOW HOW MANY INSTANT LEE. FIGURE OUT A WAY OF MAKE THIS POWERR!!!

SOME MORE RACES TO COMING SOON!!!!!!!!1

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One Response to “CARCOSA RACE IS CLASS”

  1. James Smith Says:

    Woo-hoo!!! Joesky is back!


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