A MOVIE REVIEW ZARDOZ”

August 26, 2010

THE BLOGSA RE VERY GOOD TO GIVE ME AN INSPIRASION TO CHECK OUT NEWSTUFF.  JAMES MALSINISKI MADE ME CHECK OUT CLARK ASTON SMITH BOOKS, AND THEN  MICHAEL CURTIS I LISTINED TO A PUNK BAND CALLED F.E.AR AND ZAK SABATH MADE ME LOOK AT REAL ARTS AND ALSO SOME GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION (COMBO PACKEGDE).

SO I WILL SOME TIMES FROM TIME TO TIME LET YOU NOW SOME THING I SAW

AND THAT WAY MAYBE YOU WILL BE INSPIRED TO TRY A NEW ONE ONFO R SIZE  !!

I HAVE NOWN ABOUT THE SHAWN CONNARY MOVIE ‘ZARDOZ ‘ FOR A LONG TIME AT BLOCKBUSTERS, BUT I ALAWYS HAD A THINK LIKE ‘THIS COVER PICTURE LOOKS STUPID HOW CAN I ENJOY THIS MOVIE?”BUT NOW AFTER SEEING THINGS LIKE CARCOSA AND PLANET AGLOL AND JEFF RIENTS NOW I SAID HMMMMMMMMM…………………..THIS COULD BE GOOD!  SO IT WAS ON FOX’S MOVIE CHANEL AND I WATCH IT.

THE MOVIE IT GOOD, BUT ALSO PRETTY WIERD AS SHIT. THE STORY IS:

IT IS A THOUSAND YEARS FROM NOW AND EARTH IS A FUCKED UP PLACE.  POEPLE RUN AROUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE ON THE OUTSIDE PART, WHERE YOU COULD HAVE DEATH FOR BREAKFAST- FASE SHOOTINGS AND NECK CHOPS ARE A COMMON DANGER!!!!!!!!!  SHAWN CONNARY IS KIND OF LIKE FUTURE CONAN THEN HE JUMPS ON BOARD A FLYING GIANTHEADSHIP AND GOES TO THE SAFE, INSIDE PART WHERE EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO A PHISH CONCERT IN A LITTLE WILE. HERE IS A PROBLEM   – THESE ARE NOT THE COOL HIPPIES THAT GIVE YOU DOPE AND GRILLCHEESE SANDWITCHES, THESE ARE THE ASS-HOLE HIPPIES THAT ARE PISSED OFF YOU EAT MEAT AND THINK THEIR ALL BETTER THAN YOU AND THE GUYS PRETTY MUCH LOOK LIKE GIRLS TO, WHICH COULD MAKE FOR A TRAP LATER.

ANY WAY, SOME HIPPIES LIKE SHAWN CONNARY BUT OTHERS DONT AND THATS WHERE THE STORY GETS GOING.      I DONT WANT TO SAY ANYTHING MORE TO RUIN THE SURPRISE.

GOOD THINGS OF ZARDOTZ (MAYBE SOME VERY SMALL SPOILINGS]:

  1. TITS – THEY ARE LOTS OF THEM AND THE CHICKS ARE PRETTY HOT, BUT THEY ARE KIND OF SMALL- I DONT KNOW IF THATS A 1960S THING OR A FUTURE THING, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME BIGGER CHONGOS SPRIKNLED IN
  2. SHOTTING+STABBINGS: AGOOD NUMBER OF THEM.  THE BLOOD LOOKS KIND OF FAKE.
  3. IMAGINATION: THEIR IS SOME REALLY WILD STUFF IN HERE AND I FEEL LIKE THE DIRECTER REALLY TRIED HARD TO MAKE A UNIQUE MOVIE.

BAD THINGS OF ZARDOZ:

  1. CONFUSED – I THINK SHAWN CONNARY BONED A TON OF HIPPIE CHICKS BUT I CANT QUITE TELL.  I NOW HE BONED AT LEAST ONE. THE WHOLE TIME YOUR WAITING FOR HIM TO PULL A REAL CONAN AND MAKE THE WOMENS ‘NO DONT’ TOUCH ME YOU SAVAGE!’ TURN INTO A ‘YES, TAKE MY SEX FLOWER MUSCLEMAN!!!!” BUT THERE WAS SOME WIERD EDITING OR SOME THING, OR MAYBE TOO MANY BEERS (A LITTLE SLEEPY MID-WAY THROUGH(  I THINK HE BONED A TON OF CHICKS, I JUST WISHED THEYMADE IT MORE CLEAR.,
  2. BIGGER KNOCKERS: I THINK I SAID IT BEFORE, BUT THE BOOBS WERE ALL SMALL.  NEED MORE VARIATY.
  3. MORE LASERS AND MAYBE ROBOTS: A GOOD SCIENCE-FUTURE MOVIE SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE A COUPLE LASERS, AND MAYBE A ROBOT.

SO I SAY LOOK AT THE MOVIE ZARDOZ!  ITS BETTER THAN A LOT OF CRAPPY NEW STUFF, AND AT LEAST I THINK EVERYONE WHO MAKED THE FILM WAS TRYING HARD TO DO SOME THING DIFFERENT. YOU WILL COME OUT OF THE MOVIE WITH A FEW NEW IDEAS, GARANTEED.

I WILL STRANGEL YOU WITH YOU'RE OWN HAIR

CONTORVERSY!!!!! A GOOD TIME FOR YELLING SO HERE GOES…………….

IN THIS CORNER IS A GUY THAT WROTE A ADVENTURE FOR AD&DRAGONS. HE SEEMS TO BE PRETTY COOL AND HIS HEART’S IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE & HE IS TRY FOR SOME MONEY AT DOING SOME THING THAT ALL WE LOVE- RPGS!  AND EVERY BODY I CAN FIND SAYS THE ADVENTURE IS REAL GOOD ONE TOO.  ALSO HE GETS BONUS POINTS FOR A WEBSITE LOGO THAT IS MORE THAN THREE OF MY COMPUTER SCREENS BIG (SERIOUSLY YOU NEED A MOVIES CREEN TO SEE THE HOLE THING!!!

AND IN THE OTHER CORNER…………………..THE BIG GINANT COMPANY THAT MAKES MY SHITTY PONIE AND USED TO DO AD&D BUT DOESNT ANYMORE SO THEY DONT REALLY GIVE TOO SHITS ABOUT US. UNLESS WE GIVE THEM MONEY FOR THE NEW GAME THAT WE DONT’ WANT TO PLAY.  A HOSTAGE SITCHUATION LIKE THE TERORISTS WOULD DO!

SO WHY IS THE OSR OLD SCHOOL TAKE THE SIDE OF MY STUPDI PONIE (BUT I WILL ADMIT THAT MERMAID CASTEL IS PRETTY COOL AND I MIGHT MAKE A ADVENTURE FROMIT]? I HAVE NEVER SEE SO MUCH FREE LIEGAL ADVICE FROM PEOPLE WHO IS NOT LAWYERS SINCE I SPENT TWO WEEKS IN THE COUNTY JAIL  !!! MAYBE THE GUY DID THE WRONG THING..OKAY IM SURE MY LITTLE BONER PEOPLE WILL LET HIM NO AND SOME THING WILL BE CHANGED IF SO.  BUT WHY CALL FOR NAMES AND A BAD TIME TO A GUY THATS TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS? SO MUCH CHEERING—–IS THIS THE HAS-BRO SHAREHOLDER MEETING?

AAAAHH – BLAH BLHABLAH IN MY OWN EARS!  HERE IS THE FREE STUFF, WITCH I STEALED FROM HAS-BRO ALSO (DONT TURN ME IN!!!!! :

PINKY PIE PONY

NO#OF THEM: ONLY ONE

MOVE  :24″

AC: 6

HD 3

ATT: BITE 1D4 + SAVE POISON OR GET RAIBOW CANSER

ALIGNMENT: BISEXAL

PINKIE PIE PONY FROLICST IN THE TALL GRASS LAND SOUTH OF LAKE HALI ON THE PLANET CARCOSA. THIS IS NOT A GOOD PLACE FOR HER BECAUSE EVERY SORCEROR KNOW THE SECRET – A PINK PONY CAN BE THE INGREDIANT TO MAKE ANY RITUAL GO GOOD!  NO NEED TO RAPE ANY ULFIRE PEOPLE, JUST GET THE PONY AND KILL THE SHIT OUT OF IT AND HERE COMESTHE SUCKERED ABOLMINATION OR CYTHLULU!! PINKIE PIE IS RARELY SEEN- IT LIVES IN TERROR OF DEATH.