A MOVIE REVIEW ZARDOZ”

August 26, 2010

THE BLOGSA RE VERY GOOD TO GIVE ME AN INSPIRASION TO CHECK OUT NEWSTUFF.  JAMES MALSINISKI MADE ME CHECK OUT CLARK ASTON SMITH BOOKS, AND THEN  MICHAEL CURTIS I LISTINED TO A PUNK BAND CALLED F.E.AR AND ZAK SABATH MADE ME LOOK AT REAL ARTS AND ALSO SOME GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION (COMBO PACKEGDE).

SO I WILL SOME TIMES FROM TIME TO TIME LET YOU NOW SOME THING I SAW

AND THAT WAY MAYBE YOU WILL BE INSPIRED TO TRY A NEW ONE ONFO R SIZE  !!

I HAVE NOWN ABOUT THE SHAWN CONNARY MOVIE ‘ZARDOZ ‘ FOR A LONG TIME AT BLOCKBUSTERS, BUT I ALAWYS HAD A THINK LIKE ‘THIS COVER PICTURE LOOKS STUPID HOW CAN I ENJOY THIS MOVIE?”BUT NOW AFTER SEEING THINGS LIKE CARCOSA AND PLANET AGLOL AND JEFF RIENTS NOW I SAID HMMMMMMMMM…………………..THIS COULD BE GOOD!  SO IT WAS ON FOX’S MOVIE CHANEL AND I WATCH IT.

THE MOVIE IT GOOD, BUT ALSO PRETTY WIERD AS SHIT. THE STORY IS:

IT IS A THOUSAND YEARS FROM NOW AND EARTH IS A FUCKED UP PLACE.  POEPLE RUN AROUND LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE ON THE OUTSIDE PART, WHERE YOU COULD HAVE DEATH FOR BREAKFAST- FASE SHOOTINGS AND NECK CHOPS ARE A COMMON DANGER!!!!!!!!!  SHAWN CONNARY IS KIND OF LIKE FUTURE CONAN THEN HE JUMPS ON BOARD A FLYING GIANTHEADSHIP AND GOES TO THE SAFE, INSIDE PART WHERE EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO A PHISH CONCERT IN A LITTLE WILE. HERE IS A PROBLEM   – THESE ARE NOT THE COOL HIPPIES THAT GIVE YOU DOPE AND GRILLCHEESE SANDWITCHES, THESE ARE THE ASS-HOLE HIPPIES THAT ARE PISSED OFF YOU EAT MEAT AND THINK THEIR ALL BETTER THAN YOU AND THE GUYS PRETTY MUCH LOOK LIKE GIRLS TO, WHICH COULD MAKE FOR A TRAP LATER.

ANY WAY, SOME HIPPIES LIKE SHAWN CONNARY BUT OTHERS DONT AND THATS WHERE THE STORY GETS GOING.      I DONT WANT TO SAY ANYTHING MORE TO RUIN THE SURPRISE.

GOOD THINGS OF ZARDOTZ (MAYBE SOME VERY SMALL SPOILINGS]:

  1. TITS – THEY ARE LOTS OF THEM AND THE CHICKS ARE PRETTY HOT, BUT THEY ARE KIND OF SMALL- I DONT KNOW IF THATS A 1960S THING OR A FUTURE THING, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME BIGGER CHONGOS SPRIKNLED IN
  2. SHOTTING+STABBINGS: AGOOD NUMBER OF THEM.  THE BLOOD LOOKS KIND OF FAKE.
  3. IMAGINATION: THEIR IS SOME REALLY WILD STUFF IN HERE AND I FEEL LIKE THE DIRECTER REALLY TRIED HARD TO MAKE A UNIQUE MOVIE.

BAD THINGS OF ZARDOZ:

  1. CONFUSED – I THINK SHAWN CONNARY BONED A TON OF HIPPIE CHICKS BUT I CANT QUITE TELL.  I NOW HE BONED AT LEAST ONE. THE WHOLE TIME YOUR WAITING FOR HIM TO PULL A REAL CONAN AND MAKE THE WOMENS ‘NO DONT’ TOUCH ME YOU SAVAGE!’ TURN INTO A ‘YES, TAKE MY SEX FLOWER MUSCLEMAN!!!!” BUT THERE WAS SOME WIERD EDITING OR SOME THING, OR MAYBE TOO MANY BEERS (A LITTLE SLEEPY MID-WAY THROUGH(  I THINK HE BONED A TON OF CHICKS, I JUST WISHED THEYMADE IT MORE CLEAR.,
  2. BIGGER KNOCKERS: I THINK I SAID IT BEFORE, BUT THE BOOBS WERE ALL SMALL.  NEED MORE VARIATY.
  3. MORE LASERS AND MAYBE ROBOTS: A GOOD SCIENCE-FUTURE MOVIE SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE A COUPLE LASERS, AND MAYBE A ROBOT.

SO I SAY LOOK AT THE MOVIE ZARDOZ!  ITS BETTER THAN A LOT OF CRAPPY NEW STUFF, AND AT LEAST I THINK EVERYONE WHO MAKED THE FILM WAS TRYING HARD TO DO SOME THING DIFFERENT. YOU WILL COME OUT OF THE MOVIE WITH A FEW NEW IDEAS, GARANTEED.

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12 Responses to “A MOVIE REVIEW ZARDOZ””

  1. ragnorakk Says:

    I just want to assume that he did bone a lot of those chix

  2. Yesmar Says:

    [perpetually repeating] Caution: You are approaching the periphery shield of Vortex Four. Caution: You are approaching the periphery shield of Vortex Four.

  3. Blair Says:

    GOD BLESS YOU JOESKY!

  4. bat Says:

    Ok, I understand that the all caps and first grade spelling are considered quaint (I used to teach English as a second language abroad, so I don’t want to hear any excuses on the latter), but for crying out loud, it is SEAN Connery. SEAN, SEAN, SEAN.

  5. cyclopeatron Says:

    My favorite movie of all time. Everything about this movie is perfect.

    I will not go to second level with you.

  6. Dungeonmum Says:

    I have those boots


  7. *~. I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives up to date information ‘””

  8. NunyaBidness Says:

    BEST>MOVIE>REVIEW>EVAR

    “THESE ARE NOT THE COOL HIPPIES THAT GIVE YOU DOPE AND GRILLCHEESE SANDWITCHES, THESE ARE THE ASS-HOLE HIPPIES THAT ARE PISSED OFF YOU EAT MEAT”

    stillonfloorlaffingassoff 😛

  9. Albern Says:

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  10. Lawrence Says:

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  11. […] head, the psychedelic tone, the gratuitous violence and nudity) only made it more intriguing.  Joesky’s review and the endorsements from a variety of bloggers whose aesthetics are interesting made me finally […]


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