A NEW DUNGEON

September 14, 2010

ENTER IF YOU DAIR

THE D&D COLORING BOOK! THANKS FOR THE REMIN-DER UNDERDARK GAZETE http://underdarkgazette.blogspot.com/

I USED TO HAVE ONE BUT IAM A TERRIBAL ARTIST. BUT HERE IS THE DUNGOEN FROM IT………………………. I CANNT FIGURE OUT ALL THE MOPNSTERS OUT FROM THE DRAWS, BUT I MADE UP SOME STUFF TO COVER IT.

RANDOM ENCOUNTERS (ROLL 1-6 EVERY OTHER TURN, A SIX MEANS BINGO!)

NOW ROLL 1—6 AGAIN:

1: A STRONG BREEZE BLOWS OUT THE TORCHES AND LANTERNS SO EVERYTHING IS DARK. WHEN YOU LIGHT THEM AGAIN FOR JUST A SECOND YOU SEE A REAL SCARY MONSTER IN THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE, BUT ITS NOT THEIR. (OR IS IT???????)

2: TRIPWIRE TRAP SETS OFF A BAG OF YELLOWMOLD.

3. ALL OF A SUDDEN A SOUND LIKE A MORTAR COMING IN, THE WHISTLE GETS HIGHER UP THE CLOSER IT GETS…………….. EVERYONE JUMPS FOR COVER AND TAKES 0-3 POINTS OF DAMAGE FROM CRASHING INTO THE GROUND. BUT NOTHING EVER EXPLOSED AND THE SOUND GOES AWAY……………….

4: GOBLIN VOICES IN THE DISTANCE, BUT YOU CAN’T TELL WHAT THEY SAY (OR WHERE ARE THEY).

5: THE GHOST OF A DEAD BANSHEE APPEARS. IT CAN’T ATTACK OR ANYTHING, BUT IT LOOKS AT EVERYONE VERY MEAN (IF LOOKS COULD KILL THERE WOULD BE SEVERAL INJURIES)

6. CHALK OUTLINE LIKE A MURDER SCENE. ROLL 1-6 IT IS A 1. HOBGOBLIN 2. MIND FLAYER 3. SKELETON 4. GELATINICE CUBE 5. ROT GRUB 6. FLUMP……… NO SIGN OF THE POLICE THOUGH………….

[1] FLOATING GUARD. A BEHOLDER RIGHT OFF OFF THE BATS!! BUT HE IS A GOOD GUY! WHEN THE PLAYERS ENTER HE SAYS “DO NOT JUDGE ME BY MY APPEERANCE, I WISH ONLY HELPING YOU” HE WILL EVEN IGNORE A FIRST COUPLE ATTACKS TO INSIST THE PLAYERS HE ISA GO OD GUY…………BUT IT IS JUST BULLSHIT AND I FTHE PLAYERS STOP OR TURN THERE BACK

FOR JUST ONE

SECOND BEHODLER ATTACKS WITH EYE MURDER AND WILL KILL THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!!!!! ! A COUPLE COFINS—— WHAT COULD BE IN THEM?!!?!?!?!!! ONE HOLDS ONLY EMPTY BUT THE OTHER IS FILL UP WITH 10,000GP. THE SKULL ON THE GROUND IS A MAGIC MOUTH – TELL IT WHAT TO SAY AND STICK IT SOMWEHRE AND IT ACTS JUST LIKE THE SPELL.

BEHOLDEER- AC0, MV 60/20, HD12, 3 ATT: 2 TENTACAL SLAPS + BITING (1-6 X2 AND 2-16), SAVE F12, ML 9. CHECK THE BOOK FOR THE EYE BLAST RULES ALSO THEY HAVE POISON.

[2] WINGS PIG ROOM. YOU CAN TELLBY THE CROSSARMS THAT THEIR IS A LOTS OF ATITUDE HERE……. WINGS PIG IS ALWAYS IN A SHITTY MOOD. SOMEONE LEFT HIS DOOR OPENED EARLIER AND HE IS ALL ‘GOD DAMMNIT’ BUT HE WANTS TO STAND THERE AND BE PISSED IN STEAD OF JUST CLOSET HE DOOR HIMSELF. HE GETS VERY MAD WHEN ATTACKED BUT THAT IS GOOD FOR YOU – EVERY TIME HE GETS HIT HE JUMPS UP TO FLY AROUND BUT HE’S INSIDE A DUNGEON AND JUST HITS HIS HEAD FOR 2-12 DAMAIGE TO HIMSELF. IF HE HITS HIS HEAD 3 TIMES THE THRID ONE MAKES A AVANLANCH FROM THE CEILING AND EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM TAKES 6-36 DAMIGE. WINGS PIG HAS A FANNYPACK WITH 300GP PLUS A BLACK PEARL WORTH 3000GP. IF YOU KILLED WINGPIG AND COOK&EAT HIM IT IS LIKE A HEAL SPELL BECUASE THAT IS HOW GOOD BACON IS!!!!!1

WINGSPIG – AC2, MV90/30 AND 240/80FLY (OUTSIDE ONLY), HD7, 3 ATT: 2 PUCHNES PLUS SOME TEETH (1-10/ 1-10 / 3-12), SAVE F7, ML12. IF WINGS PIG HITS ALL 3 ATTACKS THE VICTIM IS SAT ON FAT-ASS STYLE FOR 2-24 EXTRA DAMIGE.

[3[ GINAT RATS ROOM. TWO GIANT RATS HERE – ONE IS ARMED WITH A CROSSBOW AND THE OTHER HAS A TRIDENT. IF YOU CANT BEAT THESE GUYS YOU GOT A PROBLEM. THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY LOOT.

MICKIE –AC8, MV180/60, HD ½, 1 ATT: CROSSBOLT (1-6), SAVE F0, ML7.

FIEVAL – AC8, MV180/60, HD ½, 1 ATT: TRIDENT (1-8) SAVE F0, ML7.

[4] MEAN GUY ROOM – STEROID KRISHNA GUARDS A SMALL CHEST, THE SPEAR IS FOR STAB ANY ONE WHO GETS TO CLOSE. STEROID KRISHNA WILL ASK A RIDDLE AND IF YOU GET IT RIGHT YOU GET THE CHEST……………BUT HE EMPTIES OUT THE TREA

SURE AND YOU JUST GET THE EMPTY CHEST. THEN HE ATTACKS THE CRAP OUT OF YOU! IN THE CHEST IS 1000EP, 4 POITIONS (MAKE THEM RANDOM), A WAND OF FIREBALLS (150 CHARGES), AND A DECK OF MANY THINGS.

STEROID KRISHNA – AC6, MV120/40, HD 10, 1 ATT: +3 SPEAR (5-19 DAMAGE), SAVE F10, ML12. HE CAN ALSO DO THIS MAGIC WHENEVER HE WANTS: DARKNESS 10 FEET, CURSE, MIND FORGET, SHOCKING GRASP.

[5] LATRENE. THE MONSTERS GO TO THE BATH ROOM HERE SO IT IS TOTALLY GROSS……. WORST OF ALL WINGS PIG GOT DRUNKAND HE PUKED HERE AND WILL NOT CLEAN IT UP. STEP IN THE BARF AND YOUR FOOT DISOLVES.

[6] EL TORO LOCO’S LAIR. HE WEARS A SCALE MAIL COAT (IT HAS MAGIC: YOU CAN BREATH IN LAVA WITH IT).

EL TORO GRANDE: AC1, MV210/70, HD7+4, 1 ATT: HORN SMASH (3-24), SAVE F7, ML10. IF THE HORN SMASH HITS, THEY MUST SAVE VS. DRAGON BREATH OR GET TRMAPLED FOR ANOTHER 6-36 DAMAGE.

[7] ?????????I CANT FIND THIS ROOM OF THE MAP???!!?!? IF YOU CAN FIND IT LET ME KNOW?

8[] MURDER-PILLAR. HE KILLS WITHOUIT REMORSE.A BAD WAY TO LIVE, AND YOU CAN TELL HE FEELS A LITTLE SAD THAT ITS COME TO THIS………………. THERE IS NOT TO BE A BUTTERFLY IN HIS FUTURE 😦

MURDERPILLAR – AC6, MV150/50, HD 4, 1 ATT: BITE (2-8 + DEADLY POISON), SAVE F4, ML11.

[9] SCREAMING ROOM. THE ZORN NEVER STOPS SCREAMING BECAUSE THE ROOM IS TOO SMALL FOR IT – AN ETERNITY WITHOUTA CHANCE TO STRETCH SOME LEGS OR ANY OF THE THREE (3) ARMS.

ZORN- AC-2, MV90/30, HD7+7, 4 ATT: 3 CLAWS (1-3) AND ONE BITE (6-24), SAVE F7, ML10.

[10] CHINEESE NEW YEAR DRAGON. THE ILLUSION MAKES YOU SAY ‘SHIT A DRAGON’!!! AND IF YOU BELIEVE IT YOU FIGHT IT. BUT IF YOU SEE THE ILLUSION, NO PROBLEM- JUST 10 CHINESE DUDES WHO ARE UNARMED. THE FLOOR HAS A SECRET TRAP DOOR WITH A SMALL ROOM IN THERE, WHICH HAS 3 DUNGEON DONKEYS THAT HAVE SADDLE BAGS WITH 10000CP EACH.

NEW YEAR DRAGON – AC2, MV180/60, HD12, 2 ATT: 20 PINCHERS + BITE (20 X 1-2 + 2-12) OR BREATH FIRE (10-40), SAVE F12, ML 12.

OR

10 CHINESE DUDES – AC10, MV120/40, HD ½, 1 ATT: PUNCH (1-2), SAVE F0, ML4.

11] MANY WEBS. ………….BUT ONLY ONE SPIDER (TIRED FROM WEB MAKING?). IF YOU ASK HIM WEAR THE OTHER SPIDERS ARE,, HE GETS A LITTLE DEFENSTIVE. LIKES GNOMES AND WILL SERVE ONE AS A HENCHMAN.

GIANT TARANTULA – AC5, MV120/40, HD4, 1 ATT: BITE (1-8 + DANCING POISON), SAVE F2, ML8.

[12] HALL POLICE. BETTER HAVE A HALL PASS, OR THE HALL POLICE UNDER HULK WILL BUST YOU. HE IS GREEN JUST LIKE THE REAL HULK. HE HAS A PLATIMUN TOE RING WORTH 300PP.

UNDER HULK – AC2, MV 60/20, HD8+8, 3 ATTACKS: TWO PUNCHES AND BIT (3-12 / 3-12 / 2-16), SAVE F9, ML 12.

[13] QUIET ROOM. YOUR PLAYERS WILL SAY “OH LOOK SOME SKELETONS IN THEIR COFINS I’M SURE EVERYTHING IS FINE………… NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!1′ BUT THE JOKE IS ONT HEM BECAUSE THE SKELTONS ARENT THE DEAD KIND, JUST THE NORMAL KIND THAT SIT THERE ALL QUIET (LIKE ON OUR PLANET). SEARCH THOSE CHESTS…………. THE LOOT IS GONE BUT YOU WILL FIND ONE HALL PASS IN THEM. THE WEAPONS ON THE FLOOR ARE NORMAL.

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6 Responses to “A NEW DUNGEON”

  1. Yesmar Says:

    Creative and fun as always, Joesky!

  2. chgowiz Says:

    This rocks and rules! Needs more beer… for the players!

  3. Zak S Says:

    At first I thought the Xorn was wearing a hat.

  4. SirAllen Says:

    Joesky, I think this masterpiece should guarantee you a session playing with Zak and the girls. Even though Zak has already read it and would know how to get around the latrine.


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