THE TITEL IS WHY FEAR DEATH WHEN YOU CANBE DEATH??
May 15, 2014
I THINK THE NEW D &D IS SOON COME SOON AND THEIR IS SOME SCAIRT PLAYERS HERE. WHAT IS DEATH? HOW CAN I NOT GET IT? THESE ARE QESTIONS ASK SINCE THE DON OFTIME……………………….WHO HAS THE ANSWERS???!!?!!1?!??
NO ONE HAS THE ANSERS OF DEATH FOR REAL WORLD EXCEPT THE UNDERTAKER AND PAUL BEARER, BUT I THINK I HAVE
THE ANSER OF DEATH FOR THE D & D WORLD, INCLUDING GRAYHAWK AND MSYTARA (BUT NOT KRYNN). THIS IS BECAUE MY PLAYERS HAVE AN EXTRA STAT —
WHERES THE FOOD
D&D PLAY IS A HUNGRY TIME– LOTS OF HOURS AND THE TUMMY MAKES A GRUMBLE, AND WHEN THE TUMMY GRUMBLES THE MOUTH GRUMBLES TO AND ANGRY WORDS COME OUT. THE DM WORDS ARE USUAL “OOOPS YOU WALK INTO A INVISIBLE CLOUD OF POYSON AND THERE IS NO SAVING THROW, GOODBYE IM GOING TO TACO BELL.” GAME OBVER, BRO. ALL BECAUSE I GOT HUNGRY AND NO ONE HOOKED ME UP.
SO MY PLAYERS NOW TO BRING ME FOOD AND I GRADE THE FOOD AND THAT IS THEIR CHARACTER SCORE OF (W)HERES (T)HE (FOOD. A ROUGH IDEA IS THIS:
FOOD ABILITY SCORE WTF PREVINT DEATH BONUS
FUNYUNS 0 FUCK OFF FROM MY FACE
8 OZ. BAG PRETZEL 3 YOU HAVE 1HP AND ARE IMUNE TO HEALING
HOTDOG WITH NO TOPPINGS 4 ALL HITS OF YOU ARE CRITICAL
MCDONOLDS 5-8 IF TARGET IS RANDOM TARGET IS ALWAYS YOU
DEL TACO, OR PIZZA 9-12 NOTHING, TRY HARDER
6+ THINGS FROM AM/PM 13-16 ROLL SAVES TWICE AND TAKE THE WON YOU WANT
PORK PAD SEE YOU OR A BOCKS FULL OF COSTCO STUFF 17 YOU HAVE ALL TROLL POWERS
LARGE BAG OF TACOBELL HOLDING 18 10 FATE POINTS LIKE IN WARHAMMER
SO A TIPICAL PLAYER MIGHT BE:
- STR 17
- INT 8
- WIS 13
- DEX 16
- DEX 15
- CHA 17 (HANSOME DEVIL!!!!
- WTF 4
AT FIRST SITE YOU GO “HMMM THIS GUY IS A TOUGHIE AND SOME FASES IN THE DUNGEON WILL GET STABBED!!!” BUT TAKE A CLOSER LOOK…….. SOMETHING NOT LOOKS TO GOOD…….. DO…… YOU SEE WHAT I’M AM TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!? THATS RIGHT THIS GUYS WHERES THE FOOD STAT IS TERRIBLE!! THATS LIKE A 7-11 BURRITO OR SOMETHING. IN KEEP ON THE BORTERLAND THIS IS THE GUY HOW FALLS INTO THE KOBOLD PIT AND NEVER COMES BACK OUT.
NOW LET A DEMONSTRASION OF CONTRAST HERE:
- STR 6
- INT 7
- WIS 11
- DEX 9
- CON 4
- CHA 12
- WTF 18
DOES THESE ROLES OF STATS LOOK FAMILIAR TO YOU? IF THEY DUE PROBABLY YOU ROLLED THEN AND SAID “FUCK YOU DICE!!” AND SOME DICE GOT THROWED ACROSSED THE ROOM (I HAVE DESTROYED SEVERAL DICE THIS WAY 😦 ) BUT WAIT A SECOND…………. A CLOSER LOOK SAYS THIS GUY WILL CUT THREW THE DUNGEON LIKE A TORNADO GUN. WHERES THE FOOD = 18 JACKPOT!!!!! HOMEBOY BROUGHT TACO BELL 12-PAK + BOX OF SLIM JIMS FROM COSTCO + 2 LITRE BUDWEISER CLAMATO!!!!!!! IN KEEP ON THE BORDELAND THIS IS THE GUY WHO UNTES THE THE CAVES OF CHAOS AND BURNS THE KEEP DOWN TO THE GROUND AFTER STEAL ALL THE JEWLES AND TRESURE.
SO IF DEATH MAKES YOU PEEPANTS JUST REMEMEBR………… “HMMM I WILL STOP AT TACO BELL BEFORE THE GAME AND NOW I AM A GOD!!!!1”
May 16, 2014 at 7:39 am
How many WTF points to I get for some leftover meatloaf and a half-eaten box of Russel Stover Valentines Candy from 2009?
May 16, 2014 at 8:38 am
KILLED FROM GIANT SENTIPEED BITE 😦
July 24, 2014 at 11:42 am
Harsh but fair.
August 8, 2014 at 10:55 pm
I punch a Lich in the Nose Hole while sliding a plate of Lasagna toward my handsome GM.
August 25, 2014 at 4:07 pm
INYOU’RE HAND YOU FIND OF…………….. THE EYE OF VECNA!!!!?!!!
February 13, 2020 at 12:03 pm
I cook for my gaming group on the regular, clearly I should now be the ruling empress of the gameworld