WHY ARE THE DRUIDSS TUPID? IDONT NOW WHEN ITS HAPPENED BUT MAYBE A FEW YEAR S AGO LIKE 1980 OR 1978 OR 19992(THOSE ARE ALL YEARS). I THINK YOU AKS SOMEONE D&D TODAY “HEY HWAT IS A DRUID!?’ AND A ANSER IS EVERY TIME “A SMELLY HIPPY WHO IS SELL GRILLCHEEESE SANWITCHS AND MAKE TINY CRUTCHES FOR A WOUNDED FEILD MOUSE.””

NOW WAIT A GOD-DAM MINITE………….THATS IS NOT MYDRUID!!

HOW ISAHAPPEN??????!? PROLBALY FROM THE DUMB IDEAS OF A PLAYERS HAND BOOK.LETS A LOOK HAVE AT THE STUPID DRUID OR “STUPID.”:

  • RACIALS (PAGE.14): A ½ ELF CAN BE THE TOP GUY. WHO WANTS TOBE A ONE-HALF-ELF?? EVERYONE NOWS A ½ ELF ISTHE DUMBIST RACE OF D&D. WHICH HALF IS ELF —– TOP OR BOTTOM??? A SCRAWNY ELF TOP ON A HUMAN BOTTOM LOOKS RIDI
  1. RIDICOLOUS. A HUMAN TOP ½ ON TINY ELF LEGS WOULDFALL OVER ON ONE FASEPUNCH. ONLY A DRINGUS IS A 1/2ELF. A CENTAR MAKES SENSE BUT A ONE1/2 ELF????????????????????????
  • SHITTY LEVEL NAMES (P.21): A 1ST LVL IS CALL ASPIRIN. A 2 LVL IS CALLED A OVARY. THEN THEY JUST GIVE UPON FIND COOLNAMES. WTF????
  • SHITTY POWERS: A DRUID P(P.21)OWERS ARE SHITTY. AT 3RD LEVELTHEY BECOME ABLE TOIDENTIFY WHAT IS WATER AND ALSO TO WALK THROUGH BUSHES. WHOOPIE-FUCKING-DOO.
  • THESE ARE SPELLS??: (P. ): WHEN THE DRUIDCASTSA SPELL USUALLY THE MAGICLE EFFECT IS LAUGHING AT THE SHITTY SPELL IS CAST. FARRY FIRE? LOCATE AMINAL? WHEN THEY IS TURN 6TH LEVEL THEY GET THE SPELL PRODUCE FIRE WHICH DOES……………….1D4 HP DAMAGE????!?

NO OFFENCING MY FEMALE LISTINERS,BUT THAT DRUID IS A PUSSY. I WANT TO PLAY A SHITKICKER ,NOT A PRIESTESSOF SHALLYA. MY DRUIDS BURN DOWN CAR DEALERSHIPS AND DESTROY ENTIRE FORREST JUST TO REVENGE ONE POACHER. I DONT HAVE ANY RULES YET BUT THESE ARE MY IDEA OF DRUIDS:

JEREMIAH JOHNSON. NO EXPLINATION NEED.

S

RAMBO. FROM RAMBO FIRST MOVIE. MAKE SPEAR FROM TREE BRANCH? DONE. MAKE KNIFEFROM SHARP STONE? CHECK. MAKE BOMB FROM PINECONE? NOT A PROBLEM. GET THE FUCK OUT MY OF FORREST.

THE GOOD KIND OF P IVY

POISON IVY. A HOT CHICK IS NEEDED. THIS HOT CHICK JUST HAPPINS TO BE MADE OF PLANTS. WELCOME TO THE CLUB, BABY.

TEARS OF DEATH

CRYING INDIAN GUY. THEY THREW MCDONALDS ON HIS FORREST AND NOW THEY MUST [PAY. THE CRY WILL BE SHORT, THE SCREAMS OF THEY DEATH WILL LINGER.

FIGHT CLUB GUYS. THE ONE THING ISCOOLFROM D&D DRUID IS YOU DONT GET A FREE PASS TO BE THE TOP GUY, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT CLUB THE LEADER. “EVERYONE GET IN A CIRCLE THERE IS A ARCHDRUID CHALLENGE!!!’ I THINK THEY SHOULD BE TIE TOGETHER AT THE WRIST AND NAKED (NUDE OF CLOTHS) AND HAVE ONLY A SHARD OF ANTLER FOR A WEAPON AND THEN IT’S TO THE DEATH. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!! AND THE CIRCLE CHEERS THE WINNER GUY AND THEN THEY EAT THE LOSER.

NO PRISONER

LEANNE NEESON. NO EXPLINATION NEED.

I THINK PROBALY THIS MEAN FORME MAKE ANEW CLASS OF D&D DRUID, I WILL WORKED ON IT.

PROFILES IN COURADGE

May 28, 2010

I WAS GONE A LONG TIME BUT NOW I AMC OMING BACK!! I WAS LOOKING AT SOME OLD D&D STUFF AND GOT A IDEA.  I KEEP A LOT OF THE OLD CHARACTER SHEETS……………………ESPECIALY ALL OF THE BAD CHARACTERS BECUASE SOMETHING FUNNY ALWAYS HAP-PENS TO THEM!!!  SO I WILL PUT THEM HERE SOMETIMES TO SHARE.

THE FIRST IS A HOBBIT NAMED TOOTHY FROM ABOUT 1983 OR 1985 OR INBETWEEN……… THE ROLLS OFR STATS SUCKED BUT OYU HAVE TO LLIVE WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!1  I DONT KNOW WHY HE WOULD LEAVE THE SHIRE BECAUSE HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN A COOK OR A WAITER OR A MAID AND STAY AWAY FROM MONSTERS:

THIS IS TOOTHY IN THE GOOD TIMES

STR5  INT10  WIS7  DEX11  CON4  CHA5

HE DIED VERY BRAVELY IN THE FIRST ADVENTURE AT THE CAVE OF CHAOS…… – HE FELL INTO THE KOBOLD PIT AND HAD 1HP LEFT, BUT THEN THE DWARVE BEHIND HIM FELL ON TOP AND THE DM RULLED THAT THE FATASS IN PLATEMAIL DELIVERED A CRUSH!!!!  HOBBIT JELLY!!!!!!!!!!! THE REST OF EVERYBODY WAS KILLED BY THE KOBOLDS SO HE DIDNOT MISS ANYTHING.

SOMETIME WHEN I SMOKE A LONG PIPE I THINK OF HIM……………………….