I WRITED THIS UP FOR A WHALE AGO BUT HEAR IT IS NOW……………………………………..A CARICTAR CLASS FOR D&D GAMES::

THE CALM BEFROE THE EYE OF THE HURRICAINT

THE BARBARIA

N

WE KNOW WHERE THEY COME FROM—–PARTS UNKNOWN OR “BEYOND THE RIVER” OR A SAVAGE LAND OF FAR AWAY.

THE 1ST THING TO KNOW OF A BRABARIAN IS THEY HAVE NO ALINEMENT. A BARBARIAN HAS ONLY TWO SETTING: “HATE” AND “OKAY FOR NOW”. THE BARBARIAN HATES 99.999999999999999999999999999999% PERCENT OF STUFF, AND THE REST OF ITALL IS OKAY FOR NOW, BUT CHECK AGAIN IN A LITTELW HILE AND HE MIGHT HATE IT.

RANDOM BARBARIAN REACTION TABLE (1D100): ROLL FOR WHEN YOUWANT TO NOW WHAT HE IS THINKING:

1-22 HATE

23 OKAY FOR NOW

24-100 HATE

MOST BARBARIANS ARE DUDES- A GIRL CAN BE A BARBARIAIN AS LONG AS SHE HAS A PENUS. THEY ARE ALL HUMANS.

CLASS REQIREMENTS: 16STR, LESS THAN 9 FOR INT & WISDOM, 16CON

HIT DICE: 1D12

MAX LEVEL: FOREVER

XP   LEVEL  TITLE   HD

0        1      SAVIGE 1D12

3000   2      BRUTE 2D12

6000   3     MEAN SONOFABITCH 3D12

12000 4 BASTARD PRICK 4D12

25000 5 FASESTABBER 5D12

5000   6 BLOODBATHER 6

120000 7 APOCALYPTO 7D12

250000 8 PRINSE OF DESTRUCTION 8D12

450000 9 INSANE 9D12

650000 10 BARBARIAN KING 10D12

AFTER THIS JUST DOUBEL EVERYTHING, SO 11 LEVEL TAKES 1300000 POINTSXP AND IS CALLED A DOUBEL SAVIGE BUT THE HP ONLY GETS +3

SAVING THROWS

BREATHING POISON/DEATH PARA. WAND SPELLS

LVL.1-3 13           10                 14       13       18

4-6         11           8                  12       11       14

7-9         9             6                 10         9        10

10+        2             2                   2           2        3

GETOUT OF HEAR HOGAN THIS IS BARABARIANS ONLY!!!!!!1

SPECIAL ABILITYIES

KILLERS: ALL BARABRAIANS GET +1TOHIT/+1DAMAGE NO MATTER WHAT, PLUS THERE ANY OTHER BONUS – IF YOU ROLL A 20 TO HIT, ROLL 1D20 AGAIN AND IG YOU ROLL UNDER YOUR LEVEL THE FACE IS STABBED AND DEATH IS INSTANT

LOINCLOTH OR FUR SHORTS IS ALL YOU NEED: NEVER HAVE A PROBELM WITH COLD OR HOT DAYS, DONT SUFFER DAMAGE FROM THE ENVIRONMENT AS LONG AS YOU WEAR YOUR LOINCLOTH……MAGTIC COLD IS A DIFFERENT STORY

CIVILIZED IS FOR DORKS: BARBARIANS NEVER BUY SHIT AND SMART PEPLE WOULD NOT EVEN LET THEM IN THE STORE. YOU KEEP STUFF YOU STEAL OR FROM DICKS YOU KILL, BUT NEVER A SHOPPING TRIP. BOOZE OR FOOD OR SEXTIME IS THE EXCEPT, FROM A BAR OR HOORHOUSE.

NO MAGIC: DONT USE IT, OR POTIONS, OR EVEN LET SOME DICK CAST A FRIEND ON YOU EVEN IF HE IS A SPELL. NO MAGIC WEAPONS EVEN.

DONT NEED MAGIC: OH, TOUGH GUY UNDEAD-DEMON, HOW TO HIT IT WITH NO MAGIC? A SIMPLE PUNCH IN THE GOD-DAMN FACE WILL DO! BARBARIAN FISTS ARE AS GOOD AS MAGIC AND DO NORMAL DAMAGE. PUNCH A GHOST? HOW???!???!!1 WITH THE FIST, SAYS A BRABARIAN!!!!!!!!

DONT GET ALONG WITH CLERICS: YOU WILL JUST ARGUE ALL THE TIME ABOUT EVERY LITTLE SHIT, AND THEN IT ENDS WITH VIOLENCE

LEVELIGN UP: IT TAKES A SOMETHING EXTRA AS THE BARBAR LEARNS HIS WAY AROUND THE WORLD, SO DO THIS THINGS BEFORE YOU CAN MAEKTHE NEW L

EVEL:

BEFORE 2ND – KILL SOMEONE WITH BEAR HANDS

BEFROE 3RD – TAKE ON ENTIRE BAR IN BRAWL (AND WIN!!!)

BEFORE 4 – MAKE A NEW LOINCLOTH FROM FUR OF MONSTER AT LEAST 8HD (THE OLD ONE IS SUPER SMELLY!!)

BEFORE 5TH – BURN DOWN WHOLE VILLIGE

BEFORE 6TH – STEAL A GEM WORTH AT LEAST 50000GP, THEN LOSE IT LIKE A DOPE

BEFORE 7TH – BONE A QUEEN & THE KING FINDS OUT!!!!!

8TH – SMACK AROUND A GOD

BEFORE 9TH – MAKE A BIG PIRAMID FROM HEADS

BFORE 10 – CONKER A CITY

LEVEL POWERS

LEVEL TWO

DRUNK: BOTTLES OF BOOZE ACT AS HEALING POTIONS……. BUT YOU ALSO GET DRUNK SO NOT TOOO MUCH!!!!1

LEVEL THREE

YOU CAN USE ANY MAGIC AXE

LEVEL 4

SOME THIEF ABILITIES: MOVE QUIET, CLIMB STUFF, HIDE IN SHADOWS LIKE THIEF OF SAME LEVEL (BUT YOU NEVER HIDE IN SHADOWS TO LISEN TO A CONVERSATION OR MOVE QUIET TO SNEEK BYSO MEONE, ONLY TO PEEP ON CHICKS OR LAUNCH A CHOP-HEAD ATTACK.

LEVEL FIVE

YOU GET A FOLLOWER, ROLL ON THIS TABLE 1D12:

1-3 NERD: HE IS THE OPOSITE IN MANY WAYS OF YOU, AND HE TALKSLI KE A DORK AND HIS SHITS ALL LAME, BUT HE IS OKAY FOR NOW

4 – 6 SEXY CHICK: MAYBE GOOD WITH A BOW OR SOMETHING, CAREFUL THE HOT ONES ARETRICKERS!

7-9 LOSE CANNON WIZARD: ALWAYS DRUNK 75% OF TIME

10-12 ORNERY CRITTER: GOOD IN A FIGHT BUT EATS ALLOT AND WILL PEE ON YOU TO COMIC AFFECT

LEVEL 6

DONT HAVE TIME TO DIE: WHENEVER YOU GO TO 0 HP, SAVE VS. DEATH AND IF IT WORKS YOU GET HALF YOUR FULL HIT POINTS BACK- IF IT DOESNT WORK, YOU JUST DIED 😦

LEVEL 7

WOLVERINE: YOU HEAL 4X FAST AS ANYONE (BUT CHOPPED OFF STUFF

DOES NOT GROWBACK………..OR MAYB EIT DOES????!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!1?!???!)

LEVEL 8

YOU CAN USE ANY MAGIC AXE, SPEAR, OR 2-HAND SWORD UNLES IT HAS STUPID POWERS LIKE LIGHT 10FEET RADIUM OR FIND SECRET DOORS OR STUFFF

LEVEL 9

TINY ITEM: A SAMLL THING YOU FIND AFTER KILLING A MILLION OR SO PEOPLE MAKES YOU CONSIDER IF THTHE BLOOD IS WORTH IT. IT IS A GIRL’S STUFFED DOLL, OR A TINY MUSIC BOX THAT PLAYS A SAD TOON, OR A TINY SHOE FOR A BABY THAT HAS THE FOOT STUCK INSI DE.TO LOOK AT IT YOU THINK “HOLY SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE, ALL THE DEADS! THEY ARE ALL OF THEM LOST LIKE SOME TEARS IN THE RAIN………………….” THIS IS YOUR PRESHIOUS. IF ANY ONE TAKES IT YOU MUST TRACK THEM DOWN AND WHEN IT IS TIME TO FIGHT DOUBLE YOUR HIT POINTS AND STR BONUSES. IF IT EVER GETS DEST-ROYED FOR GOOD, YOU WILL EMBARK ON A MISSION OF SUICIDE AFTER YOU KILL THE HOLE WORLD FIRST.

LEVEL 10

KING OF BARBSARIANS……………… ASSEMBLE YOUR HOARD!!!!

CONAN GOES WITHOUT SAY AS THE BEST BARBARIAN, BUT CAN WE HAVE A CONSIDER OF OTHERS? I WOULD SAY ULTIMITE WARRIOR IS A GOOD BARBARIAN. RAMBO IS TO A GOOD BARBRAINIAN. AND ATILA THE HUND.

THE KID FROM THE CARTOON WITH THE UINIOCORN BUDDY WAS THE WORST BARBARIAN EVER AND SHOULS BE KILLED ON SITE.

THATS IT! NOW MAKE A BARABRIAN…………AND..

FIGHT!!!!!!!

IM SURROUND BY DETH………. BLOOD F ORTHE BLOODGOD

I DONT NOW WHAT IS THE HELL WRONG WITH MAKE OFCOMMENTS ON WORDPRESS BUT SHIT IS WACK……………MAYBE I AHVE TO MANY ACCOWNTS OR IS A NEW COMPUTER OF BLAME!???!? ITS GETTIN TO BE REGODDAMDICULUS.

THE CARCOSA ADVENTURE IS GROW VERY BIG AND HERE IT IS THE LATEST PART:

http://monstroustelevision.blogspot.com/2012/03/new-internet-game.html

THANK ZAK SABBIT FOR GET THE BALL WROLLING, DYSON LOGOS FOR THE KILLER MAP, AND BAZ BLATTS+IAN JOHNSON FOR KEEPING IT WITH NEW I-DEAS.

 

A TRY OF MAP

March 8, 2012

ZAK SABBITH MAKE STHESE NEW MAPS I LIKE SO A TRY IS FOR ME TO. HERE IS THE TRY OF ME:

WEL=COME TO THE TERRORDROME

NEED ITS SOME WORK BUT A OK 1ST TIME. I THIKN THIS IS INCARCOSA

(GREEN CLONE SORCERS) , MAYBE A STAT UP COMES LATER? OR MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE CAN STATUP? WONDERTEAM POWERS…………………….. ACTIMATE!!!!!

 

http://dungeonsmashingempire.blogspot.com/

THE STUFF IS AWESOME,AND INSTED OF STR YOU GET VIOLENCE POWER IS 

AGREAT IDEA.! FROM THE HE IS WORKING ON LIST MORE DRINKS RECIPEACE PLEASE.

AND MORE SNMASHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

FASES OF CARCOSA

February 23, 2012

AN EVIL TO BATTLE................NOW!!

THIS GUY IS THE SLIMEGOD LEADER FROM HEX2511 OF RULE-BOOK HEX DESCRITIONS. BUT A LITTEL PROBLEM I HOP E IS SOMEONE CAN HELP……………… HE IS SUPOSSED TO BE GREEN GUY!!!!!1 CAN SOMEONE COLOR THE FASE GREEN + THE HANDS TO AND POST IT TO THERE BLOG/WEB-SITES?? I THINK YOU USEA COM

PUTER PROGRAMMED BUT I TRY FOR IT AND IT MADE A GREEN COLOR BUT THE HOLE FASE WAS COVER OVER TO NOET SEE ANYTHING (FROWN, NOSE, EYES, ETCC.)

OKAY THANKS FOR HELP, UNLESS IT TAKES FOREVER THEN JUST FORGET ABOUT IT THE GREEN WILL BE AN IMAGINATION!!!!.

 

A CARCOSA AVDENTURE FOR YOU

February 17, 2012

HERE IS A CARCOSA I MADE. IT IS FOR THE MAP FROM DYSON LOGOS, WHO MAKES THE AWESOMEST MAPS OFALL.

YOUR MISSHIN: KILL THESE GODDAMS BEFORE THEY SUMMON THE AMFIBIOUS ONES. THE SORCEROR IS READY TO ROCK, JUST WAITING FOR SOME FOG AT NIGHT. MAYBE THE PCS ARE HIRED BY AFRAID VILLAGERS, OR THEY CATCH A JALE GUY WHO RAN AWAY, OR SOMETHING TO TELL THEM THAT A

RIUTUAL IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. WHATEVER, JUST GET THEM OVER THEIR AND TELL THEM TO HURRY THE FUCK UP AND SAVE THE LITTLE GIRL. IF YOU WANT TO PUT SOME URGENT ON IT, THEN SAY TONIGHT WILL BE A FOG NIGHT, OR SOME NIGHT IN 1-4 NIGHTS.

THANK YOU DYSON!!!1

THIS IS A SMALL LAIRE SO BIG FIGHT NOISE FROM ONE AREA (#1-5) WILL ALERT ALL THE OTHERS AREA, UNLESS YOU DO A REAL SNEEK TAKEDOWN.

ALSO THE AC IS DESCENTING BECAUSE IN AMERICA YOU’ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND YOU CAN PRY MY DESCENTING AC FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS (BUT I HOPE IT SOENS’T COME TO THAT!!!!

1) ASSHOLETREE. JUST LOOKS LIKE A DEAD TREE BUT THE JOKES IS ON YOU! SPAWN OF SHUBNIGURATH (MV NONE, AC 8 BARK, HD 15, SPECIAL ATT., AL C). SLEEPS IN DAY, ONLY TIME OF FOR DANGER IS NIGHT. IF ANYONE GOES UNDER THE TREE TO SLEEP OR PISS OR SPY OR JUST WHATEVER, ROOTS COME OUT FROM GROUND AND A GRAB -ATTACK IS HAPPEN! ON 6D6 ROLL EACH ROUND – UNDER STR 3X IN ROW AND YOU BREAK FREE, ROLL OVER 3X IN ROW AND YOU ARE SUCKED UNDER THE DIRT (INSTADEATH!), ANYTHING ELSE AND YOU JUST STUCK IN A WRESSLE. FRENDS WHO HELP MIGHT GET A GRAB-ATTACKT TO – THE ASSHOLETREE MAY SPREAD ITS GRABBER ROOTS AROUND, LIKE 2D6 AGAINST ONE GUY AND 4D6 AGAINST A NOTHER, OR 2D6 ON ONE AND 3D6 ON OTHER AND 1D6 FOR SOMEONE ONE OTHER ATTACK, ETERCETERA……..ETC…….. (THE TREE LIKES TO GRAB LOTS OF PEOPLE SO DON’T BE A DICK DM AND GIVE ALL 6D6 ON ONE DUDE IF MORE PCS ARE THEIR). ANYONE NOT GETTING ROOT-FONDLED CAN ATTACK (ONLY CHOPPER WEPONS DO DAMAGE. NO TRESURE HEAR, JUST A SHITTY ATITUDE TREE.

2. ROMPUS ROOM. 8 JALE CULTERS (AC 8, MV 12, HD 1, AC 8 HEVY ROBES, 1 ATTACK WITH A KNIFE OR CLUB, AL C) DICK AROUND IN HEAR NOT DOING MUCH. 55% CHANCE DURING A DAY ONE OFTHEM PAYS ATTENTION OUT THE FRONT DOOR TO SEE INTRADERS, 13% CHANCE AT NIGHT. THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT THE TREE SO IF THEY SEE IT EATING SOME-ONE THEY WILL IF A TREE EATED SOME-ONE THEY WILL FREAK OUT (A MONSTER-TREE????? I DID NOT SINE-UP FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11) AND COWARD IN THE ROOM. FOR HAPPENS IN THAT IS A YES. EACH GUY HAD 4-16SP + 0-5GP TRESURES.

2A) BACKDOOR BERNIES. 2 JALE CULTERS (MV 12, AC 9 SHITTY CLOSE, HD 1, 1 ATTACK SLING OR KNIVE, AL N) LOOK OUT THE BACK WAY. THEY ARE SCARED SHITLESSS AND ALWAYS ALERT 80% OF THE TIME. ALSO THEY ARE NOT CONVINCE THAT RAPING GIRLS AND HANG-OUT WITH MONSTERS IS A COOL; IDEA, SO IF IF THE PCS LOOK ALL BUFF THEY WILL SWICH SIDES AND JOIN AS HENTCHMEN AND FIGHT HARD TO MAKE THINGSR IGHT.NO TRESURE FOR THESE GUYS, THEY JUST PAYED THEIR CULT DO’S.

3) SHITSTORM. THIS IS WHER THE TOUGHGUY CULTERS HANG OUT. 4 JALE CULT THUGS (MV 12, AC 7 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 2+1, 2 ATTACKS EACH WITH A CRAZY LOOKING SICKEL OR CURVY SWORD OR SOMETHIN-G IN EACH HAND, AL C, CAUSE FEER UNLESS SAVE VS. SPELLS FOR ANYONE WITH LOWER HD) GO FUCKING CRAZY AT THE CHANCE TO FIGHT. IMMUNE TO ANY MIND GAMES THAT CAUSE THEM NOT TO FIGHT, DONT BOTHER MORALE. ORANGE WARPAIINT IN SWURLS & SIMBOLS, HOOT AND HOLLAR, DO CARTWEELS AND FLIPS TO CHOP YOU UP. NO TRESURE, THESE FUCKERS ARE IN IT FOR THE MURDERRAPEING

THERES ALSO A FIRE WITH SOME TASTY LIZARD MEAT GRILLING UP ON STICKS (EAT A HOT FOOD MEAL EACHDAY HEALS EXTRA 1HP PER DAY).

THE STARES GO DOWNSTARES 20′ THEN END IN A GIANT METAL DOOR OF HI-TECHNOLOGY. THEIR IS A PALM LOCK THAT OPENS FOR A SPACE ALIEN HAND (EVEN A DECAPATAINTED ONE) OTHER WISE YOU NEED EXPLOSIONS OR LOTS OF DINOSARS TO OPEN THIS BABY UP. INSIDE………………….IS UP TO YOU, DM!!!!!!!!!!!11 MAYBE A WAY OFF CARCOSA IF THE PCS ARE JUST VISIT FROM ANOTHER CAMPAINE, MAYBE SPACE ALIEN GOODIES, OR MUMMY BRAINS OR SOMETHING……….THE IMAGANATION IS YOUR LIMIT (IE. NO LIMIT).

3A) BOSS ROOM. HERE WE GO, THE MAIN EVENT!!! IN THIS CORNER IS A REAL PRICK, ‘THE MEGATOLLAH OF MAYHAM’ JALE 4TH LEVEL SORCER (MV 9, AC 4 CHAIN+HEVY ROBES, HD4, ATTACK PIRATE SWORD OR SPECIAL, AL C). HE WARES A CREEPY SNAKE-MAN FILTER OVER MOUTH THAT AMPERFIES HIS SHOUT TO DEADLY SOUND LEVEL! WHEN HE YELLS A CONE BLASTS OUT 2D DAMAGE TO 20′, 1D TO 40′, FARTHER AWAY THEN THAT ALL IT DOES IS PISS YOU OFF IF YOU HAVE A HANG OVER. HE CAN BUST SHIT LIKE THE 3 LITTLE PIGS IF HE STANDING REAL LYCLOSE. WHEN HE MAKES A SHOUT IT TAKES 3 ROUNDS TO RECHARGE FOR ANOTHER ONE. IF THE PCS END UP WITH THIS THING, MAKE IT A 5% CHANCE PER USING TO BLOW ITSELF UP. HE KNOWS THE TWO AMFIBIOUS ONES RITUALS. HE WARES CHROME BRACERS WORTH 75GP + GOLD TOERING 25GP.

AND NEXT TO HIM IS HIS LOVE-BIRD A JALE CHICK 2ND FIGHTER (MV 12, AC 8 CHAIN BRA+PANTIES, HD 2, ATT. 2 FLAME OIL BOTTLES, AL C). SHE WARES 8 JADE BRASELETTES ON ANKLES AND ARMS WORTH 40GPEACH + GOLD BELLY CHAIN 45GP (I LOVE THOSE THINGS!!!!!).

THEY MITE EVEN BE BROTHER/SISTER LIKE IN THAT MOVIE “THE CROW” WHICH MAKESIT EVEN WIERRDER……..OR NOT I JUST THOGUHT THAT COULD BE GOO DA IDEA. LIKE IN THE CROW. I HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE ABOUT 12 TIMES AND I HAVE A THE CROW CREW JACKIT (I DID NOT WORK ON THE CROW, ONLY WATCH TED IT.)

ANYWAY THEY LIKE TO HANG BACK AND WATCH THE THUGS GO TO TOWN, SHE WILL LAUGH AND TOSS OIL BOTTLES EVERY KNOW AND THEN. IF TWO OF THE THUGS GO DOWN HE WILL JOIN IN COMBAT WITH A SHOUT (HE DONT CARE WHO HE HITS), THE SISTER WILL TRY TO RUN OUT BACK AND GRAB THE WHITE GIRL AND RUN AWAY.

JACKEDPOT!!!! THIS IS THE TRESURE ROOM, A CHEST XCONTAIN: 1135GP + 924SP + 23 PURPLE CRISTALS WORTH 30GP EACH. A LITTLE POT CONTINAES GOOP THAT LOOKS LIKE HONEY, SMELLS LIEK TURDS, AND S 4 DOSES THAT IF YOU EAT YOU GET PSIONICS POWER FOR 1-2 DAYS. A SILVER COFFER WORTH 75GP HOLDS SNAKE-MEN POTENCY ROOTS. 4 PRIMO-BLEND TORCHES THAT BURN FOR 12 HOURS EACH AND CANT BE BLOWED OUT, ONLY SPLASHED OUT WITH WATER ARE AGANST THE WALL. AND THERE’S A MAN-CATCHER IN HEAR TO (MAKEUP SOME RULES FOR).

4) WALK THE DINOSAR. IN HERE IS A ANKLOSARUS (MV 6, HD10, AC2 SKINS, 1 ATT. IF IT HITS ROLL D4 1) BITE 1D, 2) STOMP 2D, 3) TAIL THWAP 3D, 4) NO DAMAGE BUT TOSSED 30FEETS AWAYS, AL N) THEY ARE TRY TO TAME BY STARVE HIM, BUT IT DOES NOT WORK. HE IS CHAINED TO THEFL OOR BUT NOW IS FEDUP WITH THE BULL-SHIT: ANYONE COMES IN AND IT BRAKES A CHAIN AND GOES NUTS. ALOS IF IT HEARS A FIGHT NOISE IN #3 IT GOES CRAZY AND BUSTS THREW THE WALL LIKE A KOOL-AID-MAN (BUT WITH ANGER TO GIVE INSTEAD OF REFRESHING KOOL-AID). WHENEVER IT ATTACKTS IT GOES FOR RANDOM PERSON (EVEN CULTGUYS). TRESURE: A DEAD CULT BODY (GOT TWO CLOSE DUMMY!) HAS 4G.P. + 15S.P. + 6 ARROWS + SILVER DAGGAR.

5) COME AND GET EM. 3 PRIOSNERS TIEDTO THE 3 PILLERS HERE AND TORCHES BURN ON OF TOP EACH ONE.

PRISONER 1: PURPLE DUDE (MV 3, AC9, HD 1HP LEFT, NO ATTACK UNTIL YOU GIVE HIM A WEPON, AL N). HES BEEN BEATDOWN AND FUCKED UP SO HE WILL PROBALY DIE NO MATTER WAHT BUT IF YOU SET HIM FREE AND GIVE HIM A WEPON HE FIGHTING LIKE A 5TH LEVEL FIGHTER TO GET HIS REVENJE ON JALE ASSHOLES.ONE HIT KILLS HIM SO TRY TO MAKE SURE GETS A SHOTIN.

PRISONER 2: WHITE GIRL (MV12, AC 9, HD 1/2, ATT. DAGGAR, ALN). SHE GOT THE DAGGAR HID SOMEWARE SO IF A UNTIE COMES FROM THE JALE CHICK TO RUN, A STAB HAPPINS RIGHT AWAY. TRY TO KEEP HER SAVE, SHE DOES NOT DESERVE A CARCOSA HER. (MAYBE GIVE EXTRA XP FOR A RESCUE).

PRISONAR 3: BONE LADY (MV 15, AC 7 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 3, ATT. STRANGAL). THOSE ARE SOME WEIRD STATS FOR A JUST BONE LADY………..BECASUE SHE IS NOT! A TRICK IS MADE!!!!!!! SOMETIME IN THE PASSED DAYS A FUCKER SPAWN NIGURATH CREPT OUT FROM SWAMP AND GANKED HER IT HAS DOPPELGANGLER POWERS. HER SKIN IS MOSTLY SEETHROUGH BUT SOME NOT-SEETHROUGH PATCHES MIGHT GIVE THE TRICK AWAY. ALSO SHE TALKS LIKE THE KEY-MASTAR OF GOZER, SO THE PCS SHOULD BE WTF???? IF UNTIE SHE COOP-ERATE FOR A COUPLE ROUNDS, THAN WHEN A BACK IS TURNED SHE STRIKES. ONE OF THE GUYS FROM #2A HAS A BONER FOR HER SO IF THEY ARE PART OF THE TEAM, HE WILL STICK CLOSE AND PROLBALY BE THE ONE THAT GETS JACKED. HER NATURAL FORM LOOKS LIKE A BIG YELLOW DIAREA THAT SQIRTS AROUND ON THE GROUND.

A PORTEST IS BEGINED!!!!!

January 17, 2012

SHIT JUST GOT REAL SENATORS……………..WORDPRESS JUST INVIT ED ME TO JOIN SOMETHING AND I SAY “”YES””! NO INTERNETS TOMORROW. I DONT NOW IF THE PORNOGRAPHY SITES WILLBE DARK BUT I BUYED 4 VIDEOTAPE SFROM THE FLEAMARKTET SO I THINK I HAVE

IT IS COVERED.

WHAT DO THE GOOGLE BLOGS DO? I HOPE A PROTEST TO. FUCK YOU INTERNETS HATERS!.!!!!

 

THANK YOU FOR AKSING ME HASBROS!! IN NOT PARTICULER ORDER:

AGAINST THE GIENTS BY JEFF REIENTS

TEMPLE OF E LEMEMNTAL EVIL BY GEFFREY CARCOSA

B1 BY MIKE STONE–HELL DUNGEON

CONAN BY PLANTET ALGOL

BLACKMOOR BY ZAK

THE DROW ONES MODULES   BY DYSON LOGOS

I DON’

TNEED ANY MORE NEW RULES, I HAVE RULES ALREADY OUT COMING MY BUTT-HOLE. PROLBALY TSR WANTS TO MAKE ANOTHE RULES BUT IM JUST SAYING I DONT NEED                           THEM. BUT I LOVE ALL OFTHSOE ALL OF ALL OF THOSE OLD MODULE AND I LOVE ALL OF THESE NEW OSR COMMUNETY GUY I HAVE READ THERE BLOG FOR THE PASSED FEW YEARS……………………………………………..SO WHY NOT RE-DO ALL THE OLD COOL STUFF WITH THE NEW COOL PEOPEAL????/ I THINK ZAK S. SUGGEST IT FIRST THAT D&D NEEDS TO BE LIKE COMICS BOOK WHERE YOU HAVE ONE WORLD OR CARICTER BUT DIFFERENT DUDES INTERTPRET IT DIFFERENT (WHERE IS THE LINK TO THAT OPEN LETTER?)?

DO THAT. ALSO DONT SCIMP ON THE BOOBS + SOME VAGINES.

COME OUT OF PITCHESS DC FEEL BETTER THAN EVER, A NICE 1 MOUNTH REST

AND NOW THE BATERYS ARE RECHRAGED!!!!!!11 BUT THE LESSIN IS LEARNT — DRINKING TIME DOES NOT = NAKED TIME, AT LEASE NOT IN PUBLIC 😦

A JUST A NOW A QUICK QUESCHION FOR JEFF RIENTS OF BLOG FAME + A DM……………..WHAT IS THE FONT ARE USED FOR ASTERIOIDS 1618??? DO I HAVE ALREADY (OPEN OFFICE ON MY COMPUTER, I WILL NOT PAY YOU FOR WORDS MICRO-SOFT DICKS) OR DO I NEED TO MAKE A INDERNET QUEST FOR IT???  ? THEIR IS A E.CRITACAL PROJECT TO WORK ON………………………………….

 

A REVEW OF CONAN MOVIE

August 23, 2011

CONAN BARBARIAN WITH JASON MOMA IS THE 2ND BEST CONAN MOVIE EVER.  THAT PUTS IT WRITE IN THEMIDDEL OF THE TOP 5 MOVIES OF ALL TIME!!. (SORRY CANONBALLS RUN YOU HAVE BEEN KNOCKED INTO #6).

I DID NOT SEE THE 3D OF IT BUT BE-CAUSE OF THE BOOZE SOMETIMES IT FEELED 3D ANYWAYS – I SWEARE TO GOD THAT CONAN PUCHNED MY FASE AT LEASE ONE TIME, MAYBE 3-5!!!!!!1

I DRUNK 2 TALLBOYS BEFORE GO IN AND 1 HOTBOX WITH KIDS IN THE PARKING LOT, AND I THINK THIS IS A GOOD ISDEA.  AQ COUPLE TIMES THEIR WAS DANGER LIKE MAYBE I THINK ROSE MAGOWIN IS STUPID OR THIS MOVE NEEDS A THULSA-DOOM OR THESE SPECIAL AFFECTS LOOK LIKE 1996………………………BUT THEN THE BEER KICKS IN AND I GO ”HAHAHA HOW FUCKING CARES ITSAMOVIESTABSOMEONEQUICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”” AND THEN SOME BOOBS COME ON AND THERES NO PROBLEM. HATERS SHOULD PROBALY DROP 3 TALL B’S AND BRING A FLASK FOR BACKUP TO GARANTEE FUN.

THERE WERE SEVERAL BOOBS BUT NO SORCERORESS BOOBS 😦

I LIKE THE JAMAICAN GUY I HOPE THE NEXT CONNAN MOVIE IS CONAN + JAMAINACAN GUY AND THEY SAIL THEIR PIRATE SHIP AND BEAT UP BAD GUYS AND BONE CHICKS.

I THINKS ONE VERY MINOR QUIBBLE IS THE MONK CHICK THAT CONAN SAVES IS FUCKING LAME.  I THINK ARNOLD CONAN WOULD HAVE BONED HER AND THEN WHEN SHE GOT STOLE BY THE BAD GUY ARNOLD WOULD JUST SAY “AH SEE YOU AROUND I GUESS’ AND THEN HE ‘D FI

ND SOME COO LERCHICKS TO HANG OUT WITH. AND KICK THE BAD GUYS ASS LATER.

ALSO A CAMAL-PUNCH SUBPLOT WOULD BE NICE…………LIKE CONAN COULD BE WALKING THE DESERT AND A CAMEAL COULD STEAL HIS VAMPIRETEETH NECKLACE AND CONAN WOULD PUNCH HIS FASE AND SAY ‘NOT THIS TIME CAMAL!!!” OR IF THE CAMAL HAD BOOBS AND THEN CONAN PUNCHED HIM (HER?).

THE BOTTOM LINE: GO GET DRUNK AND SEE THE MOVIE IT IS GREAT, BUT ARNOLD CAN LIGHT UP A BIG CIGAR BECUASE HE IS STILL #1 OF ALL TIME.!!!!!!!