W HAT DO TO DO WHEN A THIEF FALL HAPPENED

April 10, 2019

STOP ME IF YOUVE TOLD THIS SITUATION BEFORE: 5 MINUTES INTO A THE AVENTURE THE THIEF TRYS TO CLIMB A 10-FOOTED WALL AND THEN FALLS DOWN AND DIES. TIME TO ROLL 3D6 IN ORDER AND NOT PICKJ A THIEF THIS TIME, BECAUSE WHO NEEDS A SHITHEAD THAT DIES ALWAYS DOING A SIMPLE JOB!!!!

SO HERES DSOME IDEAS TO MAKE A FALL NOT MAKE YOU FLIP THE TABLE OVER AND SPILL THE TACO BELLL FOOD ON THE FLOOR. WHEN YOU FUCK UP A CLIMB ROLL TO CLIMB SOMETHING, INSTED OF A AUTOMATIC DAMAGE TAKING — ROLL 2D8 AND HOPE FOR THE BEST:

1 IMPOSSTIBLE!!! ROOL AGAIN

2 BROKED THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR ASS, ONLY 1-2 HP LEFT, CANT WALK OR FIGHT, NEED TO BE CARRIED AROUND BY FRIENDS. PROBABLY THESE ASSHOLES WILL LEAVED YOU FOR DEAD, MAYBE DIE AUTMOATIC WOULD BE A BETTER ONE1!

3 IV’E GOT GOOD NEWS AND SHITTY NEWS FOR YOU, WHAT DO YOU AWNT FIRST???? OKAY GOOD NEWS IS NO DAMAGE, YOU SURVIVE FINE! BAD NEWS IS ON THE WAY DOWN FROM DEADLY FALL YOU PRAYED TO A SUPER LAME GOD FOR HELP AND THEY MADE THE SAVE HAPPEN, SOMEONE TOTALLY DORKY LIKE ST. CUPBERTH OR PASQETTI MONSTER, OR A PETTY GOD OF LITING FARTS ON FIRE– NOW YOU ARE A OFFICAL CLERIC OF THAT GOD, SAME LEVEL AS YOU WERE THEIF.

4 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH YOU ON WAY DOWN BUT WHAT THE HELL, THE FLOOR BROKED YOUR FALL……… WHY THE HELL THIS THING SO SQUISHEDY???? OH YOU WOKED UP A TRAPPER, ROLL ON INITIATIVE…

5 YOU CATCH YOURSELVE FROM A BAD FALL ONLY SLIDE DOWN 10”-FEET, WHEW THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!! A QUICK LEG STRETCH OUT TO MAKE THE SAVE IS A PANTS RIPPER AND NOW THERES A PROBLEMO: YOU STOLE SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO ANOTHER PC AND YOU DIDNT EVEN REMEMBER DO IT, BUT FALLS OUT YOUR BUSTED PANTS AND KNOW YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ DO IF YOU WANT HELP TO GET DOWN.

6 ACTCHUALLY YOU MADE IT UP BUT IT WAS REAL TOUCH AND GO. IT MUST BE THE ARMOR AND CLOTHES IS NOT RIGHT – TOO SCARED TO CLIMB AGAIN UNTIL CHANGE ARMORED AND CLOTHES TO DIFFERENT ONES.

7 HUH…….. YOURE OKAY. IT WAS ALL JUST A VISULATION EXERCISE TO HYPE YOURSELF UP FOR THE CLIMB, YOU DIDNT EVEN TRY YET. OKAY NOW GOT FOR IT! (ADD ++10% TO THE ROLL).

8 NO FALL BUT SHIT NOW YOURE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE, WHAT NOW HOTSHOT????????? ROLL TO KEEP CLIMBING OR IF YOURE ONLY 5 FEET UP YOU CAN PROBABLY JUMP DOWN NO PROBLEM.

9 A DEADLY FALL HAPPENS BUT NO SWEAT, ONLY YOUR MOST PRESIOUS ITEM OR USEFIL ITEM BREAKS THE FALL. BUT IT ALSO BREAKS 😦

10 YOU FALL FOR 1HP DAMAGE AND IT MAKES YOU RUB YOUR BUTT HARD AND SAY “OWWWWIE” AND A SMALL TEARS HAPPENS. ALL OF THE HIRELINGS LAUGH AND LOOK AT EACHOTHER LIKE, “WHO IS THIS SHIT HEAD AND WE ARE FUCKED IF THIS IS THE GUY IN CHARGE. ALL OF THEM SECRET TEAM UP AT NEXT OPPORTUNITY TO ROBB PARTY BLIND AND RUN AWAY.

11 THE FALL HAPPEN FROM A NOT TO FAR FALL AND NO DAMAGE IS HURT BUT THE SCARE IS REAL AND NOW YOU CAN NOT THIEF CLIMB AGAIN UNTIL YOU LEARN A LIFES LESSON ABOUT BRAVERY FROM A UNEXPECT SOURCE, LIKE A CHILD WITH MUMMY ROT OR A TROLL WHO CANNT DEGENERATE, OR READ POEM THAT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY+SAD SAME TIME.

12 YOURE A GONER FOR SURE AND YOU FALL HALFWAY THEN A BUNCHOF TENTICLES COME OUT FROM THE WALL AND GRAB YOU………….THANK YOU NICE MONSTER! OH SHIT NOW ITS TRY TO EAT YOU, ROOL INITIATIVE.

13 FALLS HAPPEN SOME TIMES ITS PART OF THE JOB. YOU FALLED BUT YOUR HEAD LULCKILY BROKED YOUR FALL. REROLL YOUR INT: IF YOU WERE WEARING A HELMET SUBTRACT 0, NO HELEMT = -3, IF YOUR NEW INT IS LESS THAN 3 YOU DIE IN YOUR SLEEP NEXT TIME YOU SLEEP. IF YOUR NEW INT IS MORE THAN OLD ONE CONGRATULUTIONS!!

14 YOU PREYED TO THE GOD OF THIEFS ON THE WAY DOWN AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW, THAT SUMBITCH ANSWERED. YOU GOT SAVED FROM CEERTAIN DEATH BYA REAL SCOUNDREL, NOW YOU GOT A THIEF QUEST TO DO FOR HER OR HIM (OR SAY NO TO A GOD, SEE HOW THAT WORKS OUT FOR YOU.)

15 OL’ SNEAKY PETE ISNT THE GOD OF THEIFES OR EVEN A PETTY GOD, HE’S JUST SOME WEIRD SPECTER THAT IS SUPOER INTO THEIFES, WHAT A TODAL WIERDO. ANYHOO, OL’ SNEAKY PETE USES SOME SPECTER MAGIC TO FLOAT DOWN YOUR FALL AND NOW HE FOLLOWS YOU AROUND AND TELLS YOU TO CONSTANTLY DO THEIF THINGS TO DO. HE’S BECOMES A JERK WHEN YOU DONT, TELLS MONSTERS THE PARTYS COMING, STEALS THINGS FROM OTHER PEOPLE SO YOU GET THE BLAME, ECT. HE ASLO EATS 50% OF THE TRESURE YOU KEEP. IF YOU CAN TRICKER HIM TO SAY HIS NAME BACKWARD HE GOES AWAY.

16 YOU DIDNT SURFIVE THE FALL TOO BAD, BUT YOUR GHOST CAN JOINS THE PARTY (ROLL FOR CREATE GHOST PC).

17 ROLL AGAIN TWICE TIMES.

2 Responses to “W HAT DO TO DO WHEN A THIEF FALL HAPPENED”

  1. froth Says:

    I keep ghetting 17s

  2. chucklemaster Says:

    Gonna start using this table all the time


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